Security (2006)

Hey Hollywood, it’s me Felix. You don’t know me, and possibly don’t care, but have you ever bothered to look up the word comedy in the dictionary? While you’re out there making “Epic Movie,” and “Dance Movie,” and anything else that involves fart jokes, there are people out there making honestly good comedies with a budget of a little over a hundred bucks. And you know what? They’re funnier than anything you can shit out in your room of Yes men, and monkeys on typewriters. Take for example, the nut jobs at Bullcrank. I’m a fan. Yes, I admit it, and yes, they’re kind folk, but I laughed more in “Zombies in My Neighborhood,” and “Batman’s Gonna Get Shot…” than in any piece of crap you have ever come up with.

Director Aaron Longstreth is carrying on the proud tradition of that wonderful comedy team, with “Security.” Has it been done before? God, yes. But does it mean it’s not funny? Well, take for example the scene where we’re following security guard Randall Gavies “walking the beat,” and he disposes of a book he found atop a garbage can. He passes on and goes on a rant, while off-screen a confused college student is looking for his book that mysteriously disappeared and ended up in the trash.

Notice, Longstreth doesn’t draw attention on the student, he just glares over him as he looks for the book anxiously and begins disassembling the trash can, and I laughed. A lot. That’s called subtlety, assholes. Comedy is mostly built around it, and “Security” often had me laughing hysterically. “Security” is a hardcore gritty look at the day in the life of… well a college campus security guard. Edgy. And that’s what basically makes up Longstreth’s short film. But Longstreth thankfully doesn’t draw out the jokes and relies on subtle one-liners to sell the joke, and it’s well done.

I laughed often, because many people do take their jobs way too seriously. Even security guards. I really wanted to see more. After finishing up “Security” I was wishing that there could have been about two more minutes added for the sake of extrapolation, or a better look into the measly life of Gavies. I wish “Security” would have been a much longer comedy, and it goes by way too fast once you delve into it. Longstreth’s comedy is much too short to completely soak up, but it’s excusable since “Security” is probably one of the funnier shorts to come around in a long time. The Bullcrank nut jobs do it again.