I am by no means a proponent of MTV. I hate the channel and I hate the institution with a passion. They have turned America’s youth in to mush and exploited it for the sake of increasing their stock. When they’re not chronicling the lives of paper bag brown pieces of Jersey douches, they’re sensationalizing the lives of preteen skanks now in over their heads with kids. Shocking enough most of these girls are Southerners. Then there are shows like Cribs where you’re supposed to feel bad for being poor, Skins where MTV just pushes the line of child porn every single week, Pregnant and 16 the prequel (yay?) to “Teen Mom” where young skanks are pregnant, and it just keeps going on.
Frankly I can devote an entire blog to our loathing for MTV. But on occasion there are some shows on MTV that are worth watching and we’re experimental. At risk of losing brain cells, we check out the occasional show, and we’ve found there are five series on MTV running right now that are worth watching. Maybe you’ll find that you won’t come out sounding like a moron when you’re finished watching them. It’s possible.
Silent Library
I’m not even sure if this show is staged or not. A friend of a friend says his friend and a group were on this show and they claim it’s real. But with MTV you never know. “Silent Library” is basically “Jack Ass” but with a goal: You have to win money. There are no testicle staplings, or jumping on to a bed of nails, but there are hilarious gags and stunts that test the limits of their contestants without risking a lawsuit. A group of six players have to engage in goofy to stupid gags and stunts and do so without laughing too loud. If they laugh too loudly, they don’t win money. If they can keep their composure, they win money. Some of the stunts are hysterical with players losing their lunches, and some just outright being shocked by some of the disastrous stunts, so if you’re in for a laugh, check this one out.
We’ve seen numerous episodes, and it’s fun every time.
My Life as Liz
Allegedly this isn’t a reality show as it is reality based show. MTV wants us to think it’s a pure reality show, but both of those ideas are fucking moronic. In IMDB, the main character Liz Lee is credited as Liz Lee, so I guess MTV is trying to fool us by thinking it could be real because the actress has the same name as the character, but this isn’t reality. It’s bullshit. It’s pure drama painted like a reality show! But that doesn’t mean it’s not good. Aside from Liz Lee being absolutely gorgeous and ginger, she is also charming and likable. “My Life as Liz” is basically “My So Called Life” circa 2011. A young girl is trying to figure life out. Gawd life is so hard! We saw the premiere for season two and it’s actually quite entertaining with the occasional pandering to music stars, but Liz Lee is a ginger darling, and we had fun with this, if only for the insistence that she’s a geek girl. Knowing some lines to “Star Wars” doesn’t make you a geek girl, ladies. Sorry.
Made
For a while we thought “Made” had lost its spunk. It went from actual goals like winning a triathlon to becoming complete crap like becoming made as a ladies man. Big fucking deal. How about spending more time training and lifting weights instead of signing on to MTV shows for fifteen minutes of fame? Regardless, “Made” is a fun show with some inspirational moments to be had. In one episode a dance troupe wants to be turned in to a better cheer team and there is drama to be had. There are stupid but wildly interesting episodes where three morons want to be turned in to a boy band for reasons never clarified for the audience, and a flamboyantly gay guy wants to show his mom that he can have talent after being thrown out of his apartment for being gay. And then there are some fantastic episodes like when Sharon Lee, a meek and submissive Asian A student is turned in to a rock star by Lisa Reiffel. The end result was Lee becoming a bookish Asian chick in to a smoking hot rocker who gave an amazing performance, thanks to Reiffel. Addictive and compelling, this is worth watching for some laughs and inspiration.
True Life
This is without a doubt one of my favorite shows on MTV, if not my FAVORITE mainly because it’s so damn fascinating. There are the occasional dumb topics, but when MTV decides to get serious, “True Life” is a remarkable and dramatic program that can explore some interesting topics in America. From Albinos, to the homeless, right down to the poly amorous, I’ve been watching this show since it premiered as a “real” documentary series for the channel until MTV streamlined it in to another tool for their corporate pandering, but as it stands it’s still one of the best shows on MTV with quality and substance and something to say. I love it.
I Used to be Fat
This is a branch off of “Made.” I’m assuming at one point this conversation came up:
Intern: Sir, a bunch of e-mails came in for “Made.”
CEO: Great!
Intern: But the problem is they’re all a bunch of fatties who want to be made thin.
CEO: Gross. How many are there?
Intern: We got three thousand emails, 2500 were all from lardos who want to be thin!
CEO: God, can’t they go to McDonald’s and leave us alone?
Intern: Sir, I’m sorry to say, but if we don’t let them in we could be sued by them.
CEO: Okay fine! Just… make a fucking show for them called “I used to be fat” and let’s get back to making skinny guys in to hunks!
Intern: Yes sir!
And now you know the rest of the story.
Seriously though, it’s entertaining and inspirational in large doses, so I suggest it.