Never ones to be outdone by the big budget action spectacular that is “Thor,” The Asylum continues their tradition of finely timed mock busters releasing “Almighty Thor” for the masses and what a dilly of a pickle it is. As a production it’s quite a creative bit of wannabe big budget entertainment, but deep down it lacks all the basic necessities of filmmaking that include competent special effects and solid performances. The second best option to Anthony Hopkins, Kevin Nash for one, is hilarious as the father Odin, who can barely squeeze out a bit of dialogue without panting.
Cody Deal plays Thor as this unkempt surfer dude in swim trunks often chasing after his dad and crying and only manages to become an action hero until he lands on Earth with the mortals. The writers make a great run around copyright infringement carving the hammer in to an odd shape and calling it the hammer of invincibility rather than Mijolnir. Why gods want even more invincibility is never explained, but the movie needs a macguffin. And of course Los Angeles is the target for Loki for reasons never actually clarified for us.
We know that Odin planted the hammer to appear on the first full moon and we know this will be during a time of great stress or where the film is just about over. Why Thor has to prove himself to be worthy of the hammer is never quite verified, and there’s never an indication as to why he needs a female mentor in Patricia Velasquez, who guides him in his quest to find the hammer through LA with a barely intelligible accent. She even teaches him how to fire off rounds with a machine gun, which Thor takes great pleasure in. The performances are all fairly forgettable including Richard Grieco who performs like he’s collecting a small paycheck, while Velasquez is a character added just to give Deal someone to bounce dialogue off of.
I didn’t buy her character for a minute as this wiser than thou survivalist. Why didn’t Odin ever confide in her more? And why is nothing made much of Odin’s death? He is the god of Asgard–er–Valhalla isn’t he? And why would a warrior like Thor want a cheap weapon like a machine gun in the first place? For wrestling fans looking for Kevin Nash to kick ass, he does barely any of that here, resembling a rotund Grizzly Adams and dies off before even given enough dialogue to test if he’s here for quick buck or not. “Almighty Thor” amounts to nothing more than a quick cash grab. Granted a creative one, but creative means squat when you have no story or strong performances to back up what you’re selling. Morbid curiosity need apply, otherwise you’re wasting your time.