X-Ray / Schizoid (BluRay/DVD Combo)

xrayschizoidFrom Scream Factory comes two slasher films included in a pack that will test the resolve of even the most loyal slasher movie buffs. “X-Ray” tranquilized me and by the time “Schizoid” was almost done I was desperately trying to keep my eyes open. To their credit, they are a double pack for experimental horror fans, but on their own and without a distraction, they’re two of the most mind numbing slasher films I’ve ever seen.

“X-Ray” is about as silly and confusingly stupid as “Pieces” is, except not remotely as funny. The prologue is the best part about “X-Ray” because it’s so dumb, and has no bearing on the narrative. The film thinks it’s clever by trying to create moments of misleading scenes, but really it’s just so silly you’ll be laughing at how dumb the attempts to surprise us are. Uh oh someone has a machete! Oh no, it’s just our main character cutting a cake. Seriously, she cuts a cake with a machete. After spending Valentine’s day with a boy in her neighborhood, Susan is horrified when she finds him hanged and a local boy obsessed with her, has made it apparent that he’s obsessed with her.

Nineteen years later Susan goes to the local hospital for a routine check up. This is a hospital without security, or and kind or surveillance, not to mention there are almost no patients around. In either case, someone has devised a way to keep Susan in the hospital. What turns in to a routine check up turns in to a fight for her life as doctor’s struggle to find out what’s wrong with Susan and her mysterious X-Rays, as people begin dying all around her. This is a hospital that has zero security or police, and yet when a patient has an X-Ray that signals they’re sick, nurses make it their business to restrain said patients and hold them hostage in the hospital. Again, the movie takes shots at trying to mislead us, but it’s just so dumb.

Take for example Susan’s experience with a man in the elevator. “X-Ray” is remarkably stupid and uneventful, and the murders lack any excitement. The entire premise is so far fetched, and nothing makes a lick of sense that viewers will move on to “Schizoid” hoping for redemption. “Schizoid” is just as listless and silly a slasher film, as a young girl named Susie is being stalked by a mysterious assailant. Around the same time, young women from her group therapy sessions are being stalked and stabbed to death with a pair of scissors. “Schizoid” lacks any kind of forward momentum or sense of pacing, thus it’s so boring, and lacking in scares of any kind. It’s a shame, considering Klaus Kinski appears.

The Blu-Ray for “X-Ray” features an interview with director Boaz Davidson. The Blu-Ray for “Schizoid” features an interview with actress Donna Wilkes, and the original theatrical trailer.

 

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