It takes a special kind of talent to screw up a remake of “Lost in Space.” It’s basically just the Swiss Family Robinson lost in the universe, and finding new worlds and fantastic adventures. They cast Gary Oldman as Dr. Smith, Robot B-9 is given a bold new re-imagining, and yet “Lost in Space” still manages to be so putrid and terrible.I fondly remember anxiously wanting to see “Lost In Space” when I was a teen to the point where I even had a dream about it. After finally seeing it upon its release, it’s kind of sad that the trailer seems to embrace the spirit of the series more than the movie itself.
It has promise, but absolutely no substance. It even takes the whimsy and surrealism of the show and transforms it in to this muddy, grimy, and droning space opera that completely over thinks the premise. The movie is set in the vastness of space and primarily takes place within the confines of the ship, even staging many shoot out sequences within halls and corridors. What special effects it has it squanders, and barely registers with an animated monkey that looks like a first year project at a graphic design school. In 1992. The Robinson Family venture out to set up a technological gate at the end of a planet known as Alpha Prime, which can sustain Earth’s surviving inhabitants. They of course have to journey far out in to the galaxy with one another, but Dr. Smith is intent on sabotaging the mission.
Eventually the Robinsons are lost in space after zipping through the sun, and have to find their way back home. This really opens the door for an immersive tale of survival and family, beating the odds and prevailing against the snake in the grass. Instead, it’s all hollow palaver, petty bickering, and a family that garner truly unlikable excuses for protagonists. There are even plays on time paradoxes and manifest destiny that gunk up the gears. It’s so over thought that the narrative becomes hopelessly convoluted and hard to follow. They even throw in a goofy space monkey for good measure and fail spectacularly in that aspect. Excluding Oldman, the casting is botched by a slew of performers that either look bored or are paired terribly. William Hurt often slogs through his role as Professor Robinson, while Don West is a giant missed opportunity with Matt LeBlanc.
He seems cast only for his lady killer role in “Friends” and garners zero action hero charisma. He plays poorly off of Heather Graham as daughter Judy, with awkward bickering and forced sexual chemistry that’s all desperate build up and zero pay off. Speaking of playing poorly off of people, LeBlanc barely registers as a rival against William Hurt’s alpha male. The rest of the cast are either there to play off of the more in vogue stars, or play glorified plot devices. “Lost in Space” could have been so unique and dynamic, and ranked up there with “The Fugitive.” Instead it’s another nostalgic blunder down there with “The Beverly Hillbillies.” I still think a fun movie can be mined from the premise, and here’s hoping someday Hollywood gives it another try with a creative mind behind it.