Batman’s Cinematic Beauties from Least Favorite to Absolute Favorite

harley-quinnThe latest trailer for David Ayer’s “Suicide Squad” movie just dropped and fans are excited for it (obvious Marvel bias!), mainly because it looks to be a bang up action movie with a great sense of humor. It also looks a lot like a comic book version of “The Dirty Dozen” with a bunch of scoundrels on a suicide mission and their superiors fully aware that they’re set to take the fall or die should they fail their mission. Along with the big screen versions of Killer Croc, and Deadshot coming to the film, among others, we have some classic Batman villainesses, one of whom is Harley Quinn. The long time fan favorite who made her debut in the nineties as an original creation from “Batman The Animated Series” has taken on a life of her own and is the center of the marketing for “Suicide Squad,” as she finally makes her big screen debut with Margot Robbie playing the role.

With the absolutely beautiful and sexy Robbie portraying the longtime psychotic fan girl and girlfriend of the Joker, I thought I’d run down a list of the most notable cinematic beauties from Batman’s long line of theatrical films. Since Quinn and other villains from “Suicide Squad” are Batman rogues, you can kind of almost count the upcoming film as a Batman spin off of a sorts.

Here is a list of Batman’s Cinematic Beauties ranked from My Least Favorite to Absolute Favorites. How would you rank the list?

poisonivyPoison Ivy (Batman and Robin)
Miscast and poorly conceived, Joel Schumacher took one of the sexiest villains in comic book history and made her look like a drag queen for most of her cinematic debut. Also, if Poison Ivy is so hellbent on protecting plants at the cost of human lives, and even civilizaion, why would she decorate her body with them? Either way, Poison Ivy had every chance to salvage “Batman and Robin” as that seductress who could really leave fan boys drooling like Michelle Pfeiffer did during “Batman Returns,” but instead it was one botched effort and an embarrassing adaptation, in a truly embarrassing film. Also, the whole boss killing his assistant only for her to come to life as a siren was so recycled from Tim Burton’s movie, it’s blatantly lazy.

vickivaleVicki Vale (Tim Burton’s Batman)
Sue me, but I never dug the whole Eastern European, German supermodel, shtick that Vicki Vale had going throughout “Batman.” Granted, Kim Basinger is a very pretty woman, but Vale as a whole was very boring, kind of shrill, and never really raised my eyebrows. She always looked like a starved super model rather than a reporter, to me. I never understood her appeal, nor did I understand why Bruce was so infatuated with her. But then, Tim Burton portrayed Bruce Wayne as kind of a dunce, so it’s not a humongous mystery. Basinger was gorgeous in her day, but I wasn’t a big fan of Vicki Vale.

rachel-dawes-1Rachel Dawes (Batman Begins)
Hey, Katie Holmes did a bang up job playing the girl next door in “Dawson’s Creek,” so why not play the girl next door and best friend to Bruce Wayne and the future Batman. Holmes handles the role fairly well and is quite convincing as a noble lawyer looking to bring down Gotham’s elite criminal underground. It’s a shame we didn’t get to see her explore the character’s dimensions more and help us figure out why Bruce and Harvey Dent would be in love with her, but for her brief tenure, Rachel Dawes #1 is a very pretty and charming woman who had potential to bring a lot to the series.

juliemadisonJulie Madison (Batman and Robin)
Granted she has a very small role and is nigh insignificant, but it would make sense for Bruce Wayne to date a globe trotting model. Elle MacPherson is barely in “Batman and Robin,” but she is fine as Bruce’s put upon girlfriend who is gradually realizing he simply has no room in his life for a personal relationship. Madison was woefully underdeveloped, but in a horrible movie aimed toward teenage boys with its fair share of female characters, what do you expect?

rachel-dawes-2Rachel Dawes (The Dark Knight)
Maggie Gyllenhaal’s portrayal of Rachel Dawes gives the character a lot more fleshed out emotion and complexity and makes her the perfect love interest for Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent. Dawes is a sophisticated and career driven, while also presenting a very understated sexual appeal that makes her a better casting choice than Katie Holmes. Gyllenhaal as Dawes is a very noble and heroic character putting herself in danger to fight crime, and her death is a vicious blow to Batman and Harvey Dent. Sure, Dawes is murdered, but Gyllhenhaal injects enough humanity in the character to make it hurt and raise the stakes for the narrative.

batgirl-bandrBarbara Wilson/Batgirl (Batman and Robin)
Even with her extra padding, Alicia Silverstone is adorable and occasionally sexy as Batgirl, the character vastly re-imagined for the sake of a terrible movie. Rather than being Commissioner Gordon’s daughter, she’s Alfred’s niece sans English accent who loves death defying street sports. With her suit, she has no Batman ears to make her batgirl, but she does look great in the black and silver costume, kicking Poison Ivy’s keister and making daring mid-air rescues. Sure the movie destroyed Alicia Silverstone’s career but we’ll always have the moment when she realizes her uncle Alfred magically built her a costume to fight crime based on the one in a million chance she’d discover Bruce Wayne is Batman and volunteer to fight crime.

mirandatate-tdkrMiranda Tate/Talia Al Ghul (The Dark Knight Rises)
Miranda is the gorgeous and charming ally of Bruce Wayne’s who helps dig him out of his hole and soon enough reveals her enigmatic background to be a surefire sign of danger. Mid-way she’s revealed to be the daughter of adversary Ra’s Al Ghul who comes to Gotham to end the career of Bruce Wayne, and put an end to Batman by playing veritable puppet master to Bane. She’s behind the rise of Bane and his crime syndicate and operates in the shadows, ultimately posing as his final adversary and link to the demons of his past before he bows out and retires the cape and cowl.

catwoman-tdkrCatwoman (The Dark Knight Rises)
Anne Hathaway didn’t quite top Michelle Pfeiffer, but then she wasn’t trying to. Rather than the S&M zombie Tim Burton went for, Christopher Nolan aimed more for realism, pegging her as a slick and brilliant criminal who was pitted in the middle of the fight for Gotham City. By the end she realizes the error of her ways and seeks redemption. This catwoman is slender, leggy, and definitely garners her own unique sense of sex appeal that makes her a fresh iteration of the character. Plus Anne Hathaway wears her own Catwoman garb beautifully, flashing her best physical assets without fail.

catwoman-brSelina Kyle/Catwoman (Batman Returns)
I was nine when “Batman Returns” came in to theaters, and even at such a young age I knew Michelle Pfeiffer forever cemented my sheer love for older woman, blond women, and bad girls. As Catwoman, Michelle Pfeiffer is a dynamo who blows away every Catwoman predecessor as a Black Leather Clad zombie who is part tragic anti-hero, and part sly villainess. Donning tight black sewn together leather, and a signature bull whip, Catwoman is prone to wreaking havoc on Gotham when she’s murdered by her boss Max Shrek. She soon forms a duel romance with Batman and Bruce Wayne, as they form a common ground as avenging angels struggling with their aler egos. Pfeiffer is larger than life, and it’s no surprise the comics continue emulating her to this day.

chasemeridian-bfDr. Chase Meridian (Batman Forever)
When you make Batman blush and smile and you’re not a criminal, and likely cause the Dark Knight to have a Bat erection under his suit, you have to be some bombshell. Nicole Kidman is a insanely hot as sultry psychiatrist Chase Meridian who spends most of her time trying to figure out the psychology behind Two Face and Riddler. When she comes face to face with Batman for the first time ever, she takes a fascination with his own unique psychology, and begins to also form an infatuation with him that transforms in to a slight obsession.

So obsessed is Meridian that she breaks in to Gotham’s apparently highly secure police station to light the bat signal and get the Dark Knight’s attention. She even makes reference to Batman’s past with Catwoman and seems to consider it a challenge to attract his attention and not commit some sort of heinous crime. You have to admire how she pulls off garnering his attention time and time again, and who can blame him? Meridian is insanely gorgeous, and easily my favorite femme fatale of the original “Batman” movie series. Hey someone had to break up the awkward tension between Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson.