The Granny (1995)

granny“The Granny” is the definition of late night cable movie fodder. I saw it twenty years ago very late at night on cable television here in America, and it kind of burned itself in to my brain ever since. Granted, it’s not a masterpiece of horror comedy; in fact it’s so furiously stupid and ridiculous, it’s a film that’ll inspire more eye rolls than laughter. It’s at least worthy of one viewing for folks that enjoy pain with their cinema, though, and years later it’s about as silly as I remember. Star Stella Stevens chews the scenery, adjoining buildings and most of the wildlife up with her role as Granny, a bitter and angry old woman who lives in immense wealth. Unfortunately she was cursed with a vile and greedy family, all of whom are obsessed with counting the days until she finally dies leaving her fortune to them.

After a goofy prologue to inform us that our titular Granny will become some kind of devious trickster demon, Granny acquires a mysterious potion from an enigmatic priest that—turns her in to a devious trickster demon. The priest warns her not to consume the potion in broad daylight lest it corrupts her soul, and she defies his orders, consuming the potion which soon transforms her in to a vengeful monster. She’s kind of sentient demon of a sort who has broadly sketched powers never made exactly clear to the audience. In any case, she rises from the dead after being poisoned during dinner by her family and emerges to brutally murder her entire brood in the most ironic ways. Good gosh are their deaths ironic. The plastic surgeon dies from scalpel slashes, and the fur obsessed daughter dies after being chewed up by a bunch of undead minks, while the sadistic wrestling obsessed grandson has his neck broken during a fight with undead granny.

Now it’s up to her hot granddaughter to stop her before she eats her—or something. Luca Bercovici’s horror comedy is a merciful eighty minutes with a premise that feels like it was derived from “The Twilight Zone” episode “The Masks,” except dumbed down by a power of a hundred. Everything from the deliriously over the top performances, and really awful special effects allow for some hefty laughter, including the finale that’s hopelessly derivative of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and a final scene that’s so awkwardly tacked on, it literally feels like the director filmed it at the final day of production without worrying about any sense of logic or coherency. Thankfully, by the time the credits roll you’ll be so numb to the absurdity, you won’t care about trying to connect the dots.