Rebecca Martos is a pretty fantastic and mesmerizing actress who manages to successfully lead what is an utterly compelling look at the state of grief and depression. Martos plays Astrid a young woman who has been driven to alcoholism thanks to her utterly consuming depression. Most of her time is spent in a perpetual state of numbness as she hangs out in bars and looks for new ways to feel something. She’s accepted a long time ago that she can’t feel anymore, and now looks for new sensations that could potentially drive her down a dark road.
Director Penelope Lawson’s short film is a wonderful glimpse in to the deeper and less explored ideas about grief and loss. Often times there’s the despair, the mourning, the grief, and the sadness, but what happens when we’re so broken by loss that we’re left without emotions or any sense of enjoyment? How do we reclaim that notion of savoring life and learning to enjoy again? Can we ever? And how far in the bottom do we have to go before we realize that we might be headed toward a dangerous corner? Star Martos’ performance is absolutely memorable as she depicts such an aimless and sad individual who wants to possibly reach out for help, but clearly has no idea who to ask, how to ask, and if she should ask at all.
The steps she take may just involve a hard and incredibly painful journey in to moving on, and she might not know how to do that. Or maybe she does, and she’s terrified of how she’ll come out the other end. In either case, “Numb” is a stellar and gripping drama filled with immense uncertainties and touches on a part of death that we don’t often see. Director Lawson is skilled in capturing the sense of loss that applies to our emotions and sense of worth and I’d love to see a feature length version of her premise someday.