For every Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck that becomes a pop culture icon, there are countless cartoon characters that get tested in one or a few shorts before being dropped for lacking versatility and viability. Conrad the Cat, a yellow bipedal feline created by Chuck Jones, is an example of a character that was jettisoned after failing to immediately click on the screen.
Part of the problem with Conrad was Jones’ inability to figure out his personality. In the character’s debut, “The Bird Came C.O.D.” (1941), he was an amiable but clumsy figure who encountered endless problems delivering a potted palm to a theater. Conrad didn’t have dialogue, but he was given the annoying habit of guffawing lightly and looking at the viewer after making a mistake in his duties.
In his second cartoon, “Porky’s Cafe” (1941), Conrad’s personality shifted into an easily agitated short-order cook. Mel Blanc gave him a voice in one scene where he counts out loud in a vain attempt to control his temper.
Neither “The Bird Came C.O.D.” nor “Porky’s Cafe” were very good – to be cruel, they both stank – and Jones decided to give Conrad one more try. The resulting “Conrad the Sailor” (1942) combined the different personalities of the earlier films, making Conrad a cheery goofball who didn’t appreciate being annoyed. Jones also threw in Daffy Duck as the nemesis for Conrad, giving the wacky fowl more depth from his earlier appearances by turning the character into a happy bully rather than just an out-of-control screwball.
The resulting “Conrad the Sailor” was a wonderful cartoon, rich with speedy slapstick and great music and sound effects.
The cartoon takes place on a battleship populated with anthropomorphic cats as the crew provide a stirring rendition of “The Song of the Marines (Shovin’ Right Off Again).” (The Sportsmen Quartet were the uncredited vocalists for the rousing tune). Conrad works separately from the other sailors, singing that jaunty tune in a goofy voice – or, to be more accurate, in Goofy’s voice, since an uncredited Pinto Colvig, the artist behind the Disney character’s dialogue, took over from Mel Blanc to bring Conrad to life.
Conrad is happily swabbing the deck when his labors are interrupted by Daffy Duck, who insults Conrad’s musical abilities and leaves muddy footprints on the clean deck. Daffy then becomes a gleeful tormentor by pulling pranks on Conrad. He substitutes a can of red paint for Conrad’s mopping bucket, then dumps the paint-coated mop on the cat’s head. Later, Daffy takes the place of Conrad’s telescope – the cat lifts Daffy instead of the telescope for a view, with the mischievous duck bulging his eyes into Conrad’s peepers.
When Conrad gives chase to Daffy, they both pause and give solemn salute as the ship’s captain – a tiny man whose face is covered by an oversized cap and equally massive beard – scurries by, unaware of the chaos on his vessel.
The cartoon’s climax has Daffy hiding in one of the ship’s big guns – Conrad loads a missile and fires, which Daffy rides into the sky and maneuvers back to the ship. Daffy loses control of the missile and it winds up chasing both Conrad and him. But when the ship’s captain appears, Conrad, Daffy and the missile stand at attention until the captain departs, at which point the chase continues off the ship and across the ocean.
As a foil for Daffy, Conrad perfectly fit the bill. In “Conrad the Sailor,” he was a likable character and it was easy to sympathize with him amid the torments invented by the smart-ass Daffy. But Conrad was no pushover. He twice threw Daffy overboard, and his height and physical strength enabled him to shut down the funny-nasty duck when he went too far. Quite frankly, I think the Daffy-Conrad battle was more satisfying than the later duels Daffy had with Porky Pig or Elmer Fudd.
Alas, this cartoon proved to be Conrad’s swan song. And that’s a shame, because “Conrad the Sailor” showed the character had potential if more time and better material was invested. But at least we have this standalone classic to treasure.