“Pixels” was a creative and eerie short film that took the concept of video games and turned them in to actual threats on reality. In the proper hands, the adaptation could have been “Scott Pilgrim” meets “Ghostbusters” with a hint of “Attack the Block.” Sure it’d have been silly, but it also could have been a lot of fun. Perhaps even a classic. The first thing to remember is that “Pixels” is an Adam Sandler movie first and foremost, so the viewer has to wade through a ton of Sandler nonsense to get to the actual point of the narrative. Sandler is a man child, as always, who attracts the attention of a beautiful woman out of his league and has a connection to children. He hangs out with his childhood friend who also happens to be the president of the united states. A lot of the juicy roles handed to Sandler’s friends, while Sandler himself seems lethargic through most of it.
He’s an aged video gamer who gave up video games in 1982 after losing to another gamer in Donkey Kong. Now an adult, he works for a company that installs machines and technology and has seemingly no knowledge of modern video games. In today’s circles he’d be laughed out of most conventions as he knows how to install a PS4, but has no idea what “Halo” is. You eventually accept these inconsistencies as “Pixels” takes place in another reality entirely. Modern video gamers mock classic video games, and inexplicably have no knowledge of games like “Asteroids,” while Sandler’s character gave up on video games precisely after 1982, so he has no idea of games like “Super Mario” or “Contra.” He even mocks modern games as being random and pointless without any design or patterns. That’s just the least of the film’s problems though, as the science fiction elements take a back seat to Sandler’s romance comedy involving Michelle Monaghan as a jilted ex-wife who lives with her gamer son alone.
Of course she takes a shine to Sandler when aliens begin invading Earth in the form of pixelated classic video games, and the two have bond and work together. Once the nostalgia wears off, “Pixels” is a joyless and unfunny experience that often makes no sense. There are no rules established in this world as the aliens set down guidelines for Earth involving battles, and then break them. They offer up “trophies” every time Earth wins a battle, but there’s no indication of what they mean. Can trophies act as currency? Are they beneficial to Earth? Can they be a weapon? And why can the aliens seemingly cheat, but Earth’s forces can’t? What purpose did Q Bert serve again? And why could he transform in to a beautiful woman at will? Not a lot of “Pixels” seems to know what to make its own concept, so a lot of the cast just bounce along from scene without really contributing anything of worth.
Peter Dinklage and Josh Gad are obnoxious, Brian Cox is irritating, Monaghan is in the film just to act as a dainty prize to be won by Sandler, and Jane Krakowski barely has a role to speak of. A lot of the good concepts are lost in a haze of lazy writing and really flat comedy. The best scene in the film involves Sandler and co.’s battle with a giant Pac Man. I have to say I really enjoyed the concept involving cars acting as ghosts and Sandler’s method to stop Pac Man, but it ends up being such a small pro in an endless list of cons. In a year where we were dealt three Happy Madison productions, “Pixels” may not be the worst of the trio, but it sure is a lousy movie that’s not fit for actual gamers, adults, or even kids for that matter. It’s mainly suited for very forgiving Sandler fanatics that have become a dwindling community over the years.