Yar, “Tales from the Crypt” season five is now out on DVD, and boy what a set it is. Season Five is considerably hit or miss, as was the entire series, but there are also some genuine twists and turns with some rather fantastic episodes. Season five reaches around the home stretch, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to take from it. The humor is still as demented, and the crypt keeper is still a bastard. Gore flies, and the monsters are still rather horrifying with episodes that feature a possessive hypnotist keeping his assistant under his control, a controlling man trying to ship his wife in pieces in a trunk, a real estate salesman who comes across a family of freaks, and, my personal favorite episode of the season, “House of Horror.”
Tag Archives: Adaptation
A Sound of Thunder (2005)
At the start of “A Sound of Thunder,” One was that the quality was on par to an average stinker on the Sci Fi Channel, and the other was that there couldn’t possibly be that much truth to the suckiness of said film. At the start, our heroes are on prehistoric terrain and in enters a dinosaur; a dinosaur that is really intent on eating them. The whole time I watch this, I’m thinking to myself “This couldn’t be the special effects, they must be in a simulator” which is usually the case in films in which we think one scenario is actual distress, and it ends up being a complete red herring.
The Notorious Bettie Page (2005)
It’s as if someone took a picture of my fantasies and plastered them on-screen. Bettie Page in the form of Gretchen Mol. It’s almost like a gift to me, and yes I’m vain enough to think this film is a gift to me. It features two of the most beautiful women who ever lived combined, along with one hell of a fantastic movie to boot. I was glad this wasn’t just a case of watching Mol as Page for ninety minutes. There’s a story, there’s great direction, and there’s actual commentary. “The Notorious Bettie Page” is yet another ninety minute bit of speculation on Ms. Page’s life, because it’s a known fact, no one is very sure of what really happened in her life from a child to her disappearance from society’s mainstream. But then again, Harron’s film is not an attempt to delve into the secrets and demons of Paige, too much. It’s instead a sweet, risqué, and entertaining celebration of the woman known as Bettie Page. Page, as you should know by now, is quite possibly one of the most revered pin-up models of all time.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
And in the distance, as the movie came to a close in an ending that ripped off the remains of “Evil Dead” so badly I gazed in wide eyed horror, a woman could be heard–laughing aloud. Is this ever a good sign to a good movie? No way, and that was a surefire indicator Uwe Boll had done it yet again, he’d made a movie that rivaled the sheer horror that was “House of the Dead,” a movie that will forever live in infamy as one of the worst horror movies ever made. Suffice it to say, if I made a drama or horror and spawned even the slightest of laughter, I’d duck out of the theater and hide in a cave. Too bad Boll didn’t do it.
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
What can you do to royally piss me off? Cast three of the stupidest most untalented people in Hollywood in a remake. Yes, that’s right earning of a smack across the face. Take a Jack ass who is a Jack ass, a one-hit wonder, and a singer whose talents are in her sweater, and you have “The Dukes of Hazzard,” a cleaned up, PC spoof of the actual show that preceded it, that can never tell whether its taking itself seriously, or as a general satire of hillbillies.
Half Nelson (2006)
If you’ve ever seen a friend. A loved one. Or a confidant on a downhill slope in his or her life, then “Half Nelson” will surely hit home for you. It hit home for me, and that’s because what occurs here is all too real. Basically, the universal message, the entire message of “Half Nelson” is that our heroes are in fact human, and eventually the people we look up to, people we think are invincible, are in actuality human with flaws, vices, and even addictions, and we’ll discover that eventually, and we may never be able to understand it. But our heroes will in effect be just human, that can not escape their trappings regardless of what you do for them. For Mr. Dunn, his fate is inevitable, and it’s only a matter of time before he faces that.
Rent (2005)
I was very open-minded about the possibility that I would be completely surprised with “Rent.” I never drew much attention to its release into theaters, and I never bothered to see it when it was in the theater, so I approached “Rent” with as much optimism and benefit of the doubt I could muster up. Then when I was finished with it, I realized I received what I was expecting. I mean, you can’t get much from a musical with a pastiche of musical numbers that resemble a series of rejected commercial jingles. “Rent” is very apropos to the stigma of modern underground theater, with the art savants creating productions filled with supermodels representing “real” people in New York City.