Don’t you hate it when you hit your head in a fit of rage and end up in Sherwood forest with a bunch of hot buxom women? In all honesty, I’d love that, but surely enough in Surrender Cinema’s “Virgins of Sherwood Forest” you can expect it to happen. One of my favorite erotic stars of all time, Gabriella Hall, plays Roberta, a female director for a music video has to tolerate a bunch of obnoxious sex starved actors.
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Season seven and eight of “Married with Children” bring about the unfortunate introduction of Seven. Not the number, but the obnoxious child character that the writers of the series felt they had to force on audiences to improve ratings. Whenever a series hits a low point in ratings, a child is added for some contrived reason, and it’s never more apparent than in “Married with Children.” Despite the appearances by Bobcat Goldthwait and Linda Blair, they play cousins of Peg who leave their bratty son Seven with the Bundys. Of course he’s eventually accepted in to the family, and adopted for adventures with the low class foursome.
Director Samuel B. Ruseell’s short dramedy about trying to fight the rising tide of nature is fantastic. Not just because it plays up its low budget with a purposely low tech aesthetic involving miniature props, and blatant green screen but because of its message.
There’s just nothing better than an obscenely sexy woman with a great sense of humor. Claire Sinclair is that woman who takes charge of her own show for the Erotica Channel and manages to dole up some of her fun humor, while also showing us why she’s so damn sexy. She’s charming, charismatic, and knows how to salvage what could be considered lame concepts. For “Claire on Claire,” Ms. Sinclair literally interviews herself for thirty minutes, donning separate dresses, and staging her show as if she’s interviewing herself.
There are no weapons, there’s no fighting, no Shredder, no April, no Casey, and no foot clan. And those aren’t the worst crimes this monstrosity commits. This is the definition of a quick cash grab. I am quick to believe someone raided a storage closet from a party entertainers’ warehouse, and decided to release their own Christmas themed Ninja Turtles video. Even at eleven years old, I would have shut it off after the first few minutes. “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” doesn’t even last longer than twenty five minutes in length, and still feels long as hell.
The plot to this anomaly is that the turtles are trying to find a present for Master Splinter. So they prepare for Christmas, and go looking for a perfect present. Cue the mind numbingly terrible cash grab that is “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas.” Here are five of the more head scratching aspects of the twenty minute “special.
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Director Nicholas Stoll’s comedy at least has entertainment value going for it. It may not be the most consistent or tonally even film of the year, but it’s kind of fun when you get down to it. That’s mainly thanks to Zac Efron and Dave Franco that save the movie from being another self indulgent Seth Rogen improv-athon. Rogen literally can’t play anyone but Rogen anymore, even when playing an alien from outer space, but the supporting cast for “Neighbors” really keeps the film from diving in to abysmal depths and keeps it a notch above mediocre. That also includes Rose Byrne, and the hilarious Carla Gallo.
I don’t really understand the “Friends” nostalgia, since its aged very poorly since its days in the nineties. Even the episodes in the early aughts vary from mediocre to awful. But I’d be lying if I said I was never a “Friends” fan. In fact I used to watch the show religiously despite the main characters being woefully unlikable. Let’s face it, they are. Rachel is so despicable, it’s a wonder Ross chased after her for so long.
In either case, “Friends” is making its way to Netflix in January, and its loyal fan base are awash with excitement, so here are five episodes from the series that are still very funny and worth sitting through. They also require little to no knowledge of previous storylines. What are your favorites?