If there’s anything really good I can say about “Nurse 3D” is that you certainly won’t be bored. Will you be entertained? Well, that’s debatable, but bored? Likely not. I certainly wasn’t bored through “Nurse 3D.” Granted, it’s one of those so bad it’s good exploitation horror movies, but it’s definitely a good time, and kept me watching from minute one. It also has its fair share of gorgeous women including Paz De La Huerta, and Katrina Bowden. Broken down objectively, director Douglas Aarniokoski’s “Nurse 3D” is simply just another obsession horror film, but takes the formula and completely drops it on its head. Director Douglas Aarniokoski films the story in a pulpy glossy lens, that makes the film feel like a neo-noir horror comedy very detracted from reality.
This is a world where police arrive to crime scenes without back up, hospitals have zero security guards, and ICU’s are staffed by one doctor only. But then the movie itself revels in its own sadomasochistic vices, and provides many subliminal sexual cues for folks that can appreciate the punishment that Abby doles out. There’s latex, tight nurses uniforms, straps, stockings, gags, exhibitionism, girl on girl, and torture that borders on the erotic even when Abby is cutting in to a man’s chest while he screams through a gag. Any movie-goer that love the thrill of being dominated by a woman will not only be aroused by these moments, but fall in love with Abby instantly. As Abby, Paz De La Huerta often resembles a psychotic Dita Von Teese, offering one of the most stilted performances I’ve seen all year.
Every word uttered by her seems forced in an effort to cloak her accent, almost like a female Tommy Wiseau. Her performance is bafflingly bad, and will arouse much awkward laughter from audience (especially when you consider the narration obviously conducted by a different actress). The incredibly gorgeous Katrina Bowden is the protagonist of the film, a young nurse mentored by Abby who seeks to saves lives. When she’s set up by Abby for refusing her advances, she finds herself battling wits against her ex-mentor who is always three steps ahead of her. Much of Abby’s actions are very inexplicable to the point where she just seems evil and psychotic to give he movie a villain. There’s almost no explanation for why she seems infatuated with Danni, nor is there an actual reason for why she drugged her and dropped her in to compromising (and incriminating) situations.
Was she trying to seduce her? Was she intending to blackmail Danni in to falling in love with her? Was she trying to murder Danni all along? Why does director Aarniokoski paint Abby as an avenging angel in the opening only for him to completely drop her in to the role as villain for the duration of the narrative? That said, while “Nurse 3D” definitely has its major flaws, and operates on an almost breakneck pacing, director Douglas Aarniokoski really paints the film in bold reds and blues, offering an artistic glimmer that tends to contradict the more gruesome set pieces. “Nurse 3D” entertained me, even with its blatant flaws. It’s campy, over the top, and incredibly gory, and it’s likely the kind of movie to warrant late night screenings, and cosplay from the audience, many of whom will be adorned as blood soaked Abby, or Danni.
Now Available on Video On Demand.