Movies about celebrity scandal, even pseudo-celebrity scandal are pretty much bullet proof and critic proof. They’re trashy on purpose, deliberately badly acted, and perhaps about ten percent of what we see claimed is true. Likely less. The same could be said for “The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story,” which is not so much trashy as it is forgettable and kind of dull. If not based on accounts and centered on actual people, the movie would just be another goofy tale of the perils of fame. Hedonism, egomania, love triangles, scandals, resentment, it’s all here, and there’s nothing remotely shocking about what transpires. Mainly it’s just a goofy dramatic moaner devoted to how battered and misunderstood Dustin Diamond was, more than the conception of the show and its influence on teenage America. Unless you consider Gosselaar dying his hair frantically behind stage as scandalous and worth talking about.
However there are some interesting tidbits to be mined that give us an interesting look at the mind set of the people behind “Saved by the Bell.” Like the show, it’s all about the teenagers, so Dennis Haskins is never focused on in the entirety of the movie. There’s the exploration of how star Mark Paul Gosselaar and Lark Voorhies had a secret romance, how Elizabeth Berkley failed to be taken seriously as an actress during her run on the series, and how Dustin Diamond protested his portrayal as character Screech and couldn’t get anyone to listen to him.
Despite the fact the movie is partially based around Diamond’s “tell all” book about working on the show, and centered on him, Diamond is portrayed as a bitter, resentful, and angry misfit who wanted to be anyone but himself. Often times he’s filmed as glaring angrily at the attention lavished upon his co-stars, and there are looks at how he got the shorter end of the stick.
When the show was originally “Good Morning Miss Bliss,” and retooled in to “Saved by the Bell,” Diamond is given the idea that the new show will focus on him and character Zack, and is crushed to find out not only is Zack the main star, but three more good looking actors have been brought on to take more attention away from him. The movie really should be called “Everybody Hates Dustin: The “Saved By the Bell” Story.” The other cast members don’t fare any better.
Mario Lopez is depicted as a bully who thrives on making Diamond feel invisible, and Gosselaar is often a smug SOB who has affairs with the entire female cast. And I agree with the online sentiment that star Dylan Everett looks shockingly like Ricky Schroeder more than Gosselaar. The writing is on par with typical bio pics of this ilk, providing some clunky foreshadowing, like when the cast vows to remain friends. Later on the cast are so obsessed with themselves and their behind the scenes affairs they begin bickering and nearly fist fight during a promotional photo shoot. The best moment of the movie though is when aspiring dramatic actress Berkley finally gets her wish to pursue more dramatic story lines on the show, prompting the creation of the infamous caffeine pills episode.
Upon reading the scene Diamond breaks out in to laughter declaring what many fans have agreed on since the show’s end: “Come on, it’s caffeine pills, it’s not like she’s addicted to heroin.” Why’s everybody always pickin’ on Dustin? I’m surprised they tackled a lot of the more interesting show progressions, including the introduction of biker chick/love interest Tori when Tiffani Thiessen and Elizabeth Berkley decided to pursue other projects, and how the actress got the shaft.
There’s also a brief mention of the College Years spin off, and the troubles surrounding the early days of the series when it was “Good Morning Miss Bliss.” All in all while Diamond is the main focus of the movie, he is portrayed as petty, insignificant and hateful, living life as the only cast member on the show incapable of escaping the character that made him famous. “The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story” is by no means as nasty as most of the claims made by Diamond (such as his claim that Executive producer Peter Engel had threesomes with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Mark-Paul Gosselaar his office), but its junk food with zero nutritional value for “Saved by the Bell” fans. If only for the commitment to turning Diamond in to a tragic figure.
Because Diamond is still trying to be accepted after all these years, I guess.