One of the things I hate worse than a bad horror movie is a boring one. I can take that the producers of the film took the IP of “Winnie the Pooh” and turned it in to a slasher flick. People have been doing that for decades, and now with “Winnie the Pooh” in the public domain, we’re going to get so much more Winnie the Pooh iterations. The problem with “Blood and Honey” is that it’s boring. It’s so woefully boring and uncreative. How do you have a chance like this and blow it on such a dull run of the mill slasher flick?
After growing up and moving on, Christopher Robin left behind his friends at the one hundred acre woods. Feeling abandoned, they were left to fend for themselves, even cannibalizing a few of their friends. When he returns to visit them one last time, the thirsty for vengeance Piglet and Pooh team up to torment and torture the now captive Christopher. Oh yes, and a group of college girls moved in to an old house by the one hundred acre woods, and the pissed off pair are aching to kill some sorority girls.
I have no quarrels about Rhys Frake-Waterfield turning Winnie the Pooh in to this twisted horror product, but I just wish he did something more unique with it. There are so many interesting retellings of stories like Hansel and Gretel, and Little Red Riding Hood, that with a little time you could have mustered up something remotely original. Sadly, Frake-Waterfield opts for a rote slasher movie that doesn’t even have a sense of humor about itself. Even with the men in masks and body suits playing Pooh and Piglet, the movie plays everything absolutely dead serious and dramatic, it’s almost impossible to take the movie tongue in cheek.
There’s no meta-humor or sense of self awareness. I was hoping for at least a tone in the vein of “Bubba Ho Tep” perhaps, but Pooh and Piglet are depicted as tragic monsters. They’re almost like the Frankenstein Monster, left behind by their master, who come back to make his life a living hell. Really, the first fifteen minutes feel like a bad Creepypasta, while the rest is merely a paint-by-numbers slasher movie. There isn’t even enough time to care about the mostly female cast, which is a shame, because we could have at least been dealt an interesting final girl in all this mess.
So much of “Blood and Honey” is down right dull, with tedious stalk and slash scenes, and even a finale that ends on an open door. Considering the bank the movie has produced at the box office, I’d be willing to bet we’re going to get at least four more of these down the road. That said, I’m always happy for fairy tale deconstructionism in horror, but “Blood and Honey” is one giant missed opportunity. It just goes through the motions just to flex the “Winnie the Pooh” public domain status, ultimately feeling absolutely wasteful through and through.