Author Archives: Felix Vasquez

Star Wars Clone Wars (Season 1, Volume 1): A Galaxy Divided (DVD)

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Sure its film counterpart got a lot of bad reviews at the movie theaters, but guess what kids. “The Clone Wars” does not suck. In fact as a series is a damn good dramatic science fiction opera that works its way through arcs instead of providing self contained stories, which kids shows usually consist of. “A Galaxy Divided” consists of four episodes of “The Clone Wars” and starts off strong. “Ambush” is a fine beginner to an already strong premise and probably the best of the foursome as Master Yoda takes to aggressive negotiations that bring him and three clone soldiers to the mercy of an endless army of robot drones and the empire’s worst warrior: Asaj Ventress.

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Star Trek (2009)

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I’ve never been much of a fan of “Star Trek” as personally I’ve always found the intelligence vastly oversold by zealous fans, but I digress. I’ve spent most times admiring the light saber than I have the USS Enterprise and I think JJ Abrams has found a great balance where even folks who have written off the franchise can enter with a clean palette. And that’s not easy considering the Trek has lost its punch over the last ten years with a waning film series and television stake. “Star Trek” is a film that reboots the aforementioned franchise with all of its guns loaded as it looks to not only show what becomes of James T. Kirk and Spock but who their parents were and how they lived as soldiers of the Star Fleet.

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Push (2009)

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push2Pushers are described as people who can make others see what they want them to see. And minutes later they’re described instead as people who can simply push things with their minds guided by their hands. Often, “Push” can never seem to make heads or tails of itself but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time getting to the end of the road with Paul McGuigan’s absolutely guilty pleasure of an actioner. “Push” belongs in that class of films I call “Not Quite X-Men,” movies that play out like origin stories to comic book characters and like the previous title “Jumper,” McGuigan’s “Push” aspires to be nothing more than a super powered “Fugitive” that uses all settings and space to make the best of a pretty thin plot and a pretty thin budget that takes the story to great levels of action and thrills.

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Hamlet 2 (2008)

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hamlet2Andrew Fleming’s “Hamlet 2” is probably everything “High School High” wanted to be and couldn’t. It’s a raucous comedy that also doubles as an inspirational teacher vs. underprivileged kids flick sans any of the politics and searing melodrama. “Hamlet 2” is probably one of the funniest movies I’ve seen not associated with Judd Apatow and that’s thanks in whole to Steve Coogan who is absolutely hysterical as failed actor Dana, a man who has resorted to making school productions of popular Hollywood films and must find the right play to rejuvenate the arts program when he receives word all arts are being cut from the school he attends.

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Fanboys (2009)

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11153482_800I have never not laughed so much since I saw “Gone Fishin'” and that says a lot. I was dying to see “Fanboys” ever since I met eyes with the theatrical trailer and whether or not it was because of the constant recuts or my sky high anticipation, “Fanboys” suffers from mediocrity. Sure it’s not a bad movie but it’s not a particularly good one because every joke and every single “Star Wars” reference falls like a flat football and falls hard. The war between Trekkies and Warsies, debating on Boba Fett, discussing the connection between Luke and Leia as a romantic couple it’s all here and can I get a giant yawn? Because none of it is ground that hasn’t been treaded by a million fans before and beyond but “Fanboys” attempts to corner the market and use it as a buffer for the comedy that is never really all that funny.

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Batbabe: The Dark Nightie (2009)

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batbabe1Probably one of the funniest pornos I’ve ever seen, “Batbabe” is that extra shot of ridiculous in a world of pornography is already high in the scent. This is a world where titles like “Night of the Giving Head” is a hit. “Batbabe” is a hilarious take on “The Dark Knight” effectively titled “Batbabe: The Dark Nightie” a movie starring the gorgeous Darian Caine as the title character who is forced to battle the evil Jerker, a man determined to steal all the porn in Bacchum and spread his evil spunk on the people of Bacchum.

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Metal Man (2008)

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metalmanThe very fact that the producers and creators behind “Metal Man” made this film boggles my mind and leaves me stumped. Why they didn’t seek out the folks behind this “Iron Man” rip off is a missed opportunity to inform these companies to vie for original productions and not knock offs. I will give this to them, the people behind “Metal Man” are not the Asylum film studios. This messy amateur production relies on a metal suited hero named Metal Man whose color scheme is a red and yellowed armor that enables super abilities whenever he’s fighting crime.

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