I used to say that I’ve yet to see a film with Tim Allen that I found to be really bad. And somehow he rises to the occasion and stars in this. I should have kept my creed to myself. I got a big mouth. Either way, if you haven’t caught on by now, “Christmas with the Kranks” is yet another really shitty “holiday” film that’s a mere vehicle that delights in being idiotic, moronic, and shamelessly flaunts its inherent lapses in logic peppered throughout the story.
In the opening of “Amateur Porn Star Killer”, the character Brandon travels around the dark streets looking and searching. For what? Well, it’s not that difficult to figure out. Upon his searching, in the lower right hand corner, in a small window box, a young blonde girl silently undresses and parades herself around. By this simple scene of our killer driving through the murky streets, and this young woman, we’re able to fully comprehend the extent of this man’s lunacy. The flesh is something many men crave. And the flesh is something many men would admittedly kill for.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone once explained in an episode of Charlie Rose that they’d never reveal their religious or political affiliations, because they didn’t want to alienate their audience. But “Team America” is an indictment of literally every issue under the sun, from Hollywood, to the government, to Bruckheimer films, right down to crappy shows like RENT. “Team America” is at its best though when it spoofs not only Bruckheimer’s insanely over the top films, but when it spoofs blind patriotism.
These days I don’t expect masterpieces anymore. I just don’t. Film has progressed to the point where you just can’t expect greatness no matter how much you doubt yourself, and I rarely see films these days that I can say with all honesty was flawless. Of course, that’s almost impossible. With “Flightplan” I didn’t expect it to be a masterpiece, nor did I expect it to be a great film, but I wanted pretty damn good. And they couldn’t even serve me up that. Since when does ninety-three minutes of “Where’s my daughter?! I want to find my daughter!” qualify as a good movie these days? I want to know. Because, I can’t muster up the logic in the success of this film, this mediocre piece of crap.
All horror fans are familiar with the bumbling of Morgan Creek and their insistence on kicking out experienced director and screenwriter Paul Schrader in exchange for the hack Renny Harlin to direct the prequel to “The Exorcist”. We didn’t need a prequel, but if the studios felt that they could have drained one more film from this franchise, then they could have and should have done it right in the first place. After all the problems, “Dominion” was finally released, and while it will never win any awards, I enjoyed it more, not to mention I found it to be more consistent in quality. “Dominion” is basically the same deal. Father Merrin, disenchanted with the church, goes out on archaeological expeditions, finds an underground church, and faces against the demon. Except, Schrader’s film is much more coherent and cohesive.
I wish I can say that Woody Allen’s venture in to new territory was great—had he actually explored new territory, mind you. And I wish I could proclaim this a giant rip-off of Allen’s style, had Allen not directed it. Fact is, though, Allen’s involvement in the film doesn’t deter the idea that “Match Point” feels like imitation Woody Allen. It’s often been described as “the serious sub-plot of “Crimes and Misdemeanors” extended in to a film”, and that’s an apt description. However, when all is said and done, I’d describe this as a remake of “Crimes and MisDemeanors” with footnotes of “A Place in the Sun” thrown in for good measure.
Danny Boyle puts the usual cynicism he injects in much of his films on hold, for a Spielbergian fairy tale of greed, wealth, and saints. Boyle’s tale of young boys whom fall upon an enormous amount of money is often times a very sweet and bright film very much in the vein of “The Treasure of Sierra Madre” sans the violence. Boyle’s departure from darkness is a rather unique and well done story of greed and emptiness. In usual fashion, Boyle unusually goes from red eyed infected monsters, to two brothers coming of age with a million dollars. Well—it’s not really a million dollars, it’s more like thousands, but the fact that the two main stars describe it as millions adds to the charm.