Star Wars Clone Wars (Season 1, Volume 1): A Galaxy Divided (DVD)

Sure its film counterpart got a lot of bad reviews at the movie theaters, but guess what kids. “The Clone Wars” does not suck. In fact as a series is a damn good dramatic science fiction opera that works its way through arcs instead of providing self contained stories, which kids shows usually consist of. “A Galaxy Divided” consists of four episodes of “The Clone Wars” and starts off strong. “Ambush” is a fine beginner to an already strong premise and probably the best of the foursome as Master Yoda takes to aggressive negotiations that bring him and three clone soldiers to the mercy of an endless army of robot drones and the empire’s worst warrior: Asaj Ventress.

Continue reading

Star Trek (2009)

I’ve never been much of a fan of “Star Trek” as personally I’ve always found the intelligence vastly oversold by zealous fans, but I digress. I’ve spent most times admiring the light saber than I have the USS Enterprise and I think JJ Abrams has found a great balance where even folks who have written off the franchise can enter with a clean palette. And that’s not easy considering the Trek has lost its punch over the last ten years with a waning film series and television stake. “Star Trek” is a film that reboots the aforementioned franchise with all of its guns loaded as it looks to not only show what becomes of James T. Kirk and Spock but who their parents were and how they lived as soldiers of the Star Fleet.

Continue reading

Push (2009)

push2Pushers are described as people who can make others see what they want them to see. And minutes later they’re described instead as people who can simply push things with their minds guided by their hands. Often, “Push” can never seem to make heads or tails of itself but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time getting to the end of the road with Paul McGuigan’s absolutely guilty pleasure of an actioner. “Push” belongs in that class of films I call “Not Quite X-Men,” movies that play out like origin stories to comic book characters and like the previous title “Jumper,” McGuigan’s “Push” aspires to be nothing more than a super powered “Fugitive” that uses all settings and space to make the best of a pretty thin plot and a pretty thin budget that takes the story to great levels of action and thrills.

Continue reading

Batbabe: The Dark Nightie (2009)

batbabe1Probably one of the funniest pornos I’ve ever seen, “Batbabe” is that extra shot of ridiculous in a world of pornography is already high in the scent. This is a world where titles like “Night of the Giving Head” is a hit. “Batbabe” is a hilarious take on “The Dark Knight” effectively titled “Batbabe: The Dark Nightie” a movie starring the gorgeous Darian Caine as the title character who is forced to battle the evil Jerker, a man determined to steal all the porn in Bacchum and spread his evil spunk on the people of Bacchum.

Continue reading

Metal Man (2008)

metalmanThe very fact that the producers and creators behind “Metal Man” made this film boggles my mind and leaves me stumped. Why they didn’t seek out the folks behind this “Iron Man” rip off is a missed opportunity to inform these companies to vie for original productions and not knock offs. I will give this to them, the people behind “Metal Man” are not the Asylum film studios. This messy amateur production relies on a metal suited hero named Metal Man whose color scheme is a red and yellowed armor that enables super abilities whenever he’s fighting crime.

Continue reading

Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

DBevolutionWell, here’s the odd news. Director James Wong and Twentieth Century Fox seem to rely heavily on mimicking the “Spider-Man” movies by turning our hero Goku in to a new age Peter Parker who has immense power and responsibility with every reason not to use them on his foes; pair that with a Luke Skywalker death scene and you have a mélange of influences with no bond that keeps the film from falling apart from the seams. That is until the day comes when a force of evil conveniently gives his training a purpose. Had “Dragon Ball” been adorned with a different name and a completely different set of characters, it wouldn’t actually be so bad, but when you make the inevitable comparison to the anime, the flaws are quite obvious and ridiculous.

Continue reading

Punisher: Warzone (2008) (DVD)

punisher-wz

What Lexi Alexander and Lions Gates attempts to accomplish with this new title in the Marvel movie lexicon is a complete restart of the Punisher franchise and they do this by completely forgetting any and all of the events from the Thomas Jane version and in some respects it’s nice to have a movie that pays due attention to the original origin of madman Frank Castle. Hell, I loved the John Travolta vehicle and still do in spite of fans belly aching, but god help me, “Warzone” is a better film. Why? Frankly because there are very few liberties taken with the mythos and we get down to the nitty gritty.

Continue reading