“Transylmania” is a pretty much just a waste of time. It rips from better horror comedies and tries in vain to construct something new and fails at every single turn imaginable. Go see “Transylvania Twist,” or “Young Frankenstein,” or “Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein,” or “Hold That Ghost” if you want to view what a true horror comedy is capable of. Hell, go see “Dracula Dead and Loving It” if you want to see a film that never quite manages to make use of its horror farce status but is still ten times better than “Transylmania.” It feels as if they wrote out a story (assuming there is a story) that involved a bunch of moronic college kids going to a foreign country. And then someone along the way figured they’d make some cash off the vampire craze and injected a lot of faux horror themes in to the script.
Tag Archives: Vampires
Soulkeeper (2001)
It’s almost disturbing how much of a dead ringer Rodney Rowland is for David Keith at times during “Soulkeeper.” For a short time I used to think Rowland was Keith. That odd footnote aside, “Soulkeeper” is one of the more entertaining and underrated fantasy horror films I’ve ever seen, and it’s a shame it doesn’t garner a lot of attention or credit. It barely gets any focus by anyone, and that’s a shame. Frankly “Soulkeeper” is a strong and often entertaining fantasy horror film that creates a likable duo of inept heroes both of whom find themselves in a situation beyond their control for the fate of the world. Sadly, “Soulkeeper” hasn’t kept its age well and that’s due to the plot being pretty damn incoherent at times.
Our Ten Favorite Bad Ass Monster Hunters
Last weekend we were introduced to a hidden era of one of the nation’s finest president when we learned Abraham Lincoln was in fact a vampire hunter in his prime. The film from Timur Bekmambetov has made waves with horror fans and enthusiasts alike and we look forward to seeing where his exploits bring him with his mighty axe in tow. In celebration of the film, we mulled over our ten favorite bad ass monster hunters from pop culture and celebrated the good guys who look out for the little guy against the big bads looming in the darkness.
Fright Night (2011)
Don’t be fooled by the hullabaloo, “Fright Night” 2011 is a mess. And not just a mess but a pretty crummy remake of a movie that is deserving of its classic status. As a remake it switches elements up plot wise and distorts much of the themes of the original film’s narrative, but at the end of the day it’s all just so horribly put together that it’s all just so poorly conceived and eventually becomes incredibly monotonous. Like most modern remakes of classic horror films, this completely misses the point of the original film. But then that’s the point, many will argue. The point of the film is that it misses the point of the original film.
Subspecies (1991) [Blu-Ray]
Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention but what is the Bloodstone supposed to do, anyway? The entire first film of “Subspecies” revolves around the sacred macguffin called the Bloodstone. Allegedly it’s supposed to drip the blood of the saints but then what? Does that grant the vampire god-like abilities? Isn’t that a bit redundant considering a vampire is already near invincible? Does it allow them to walk during the day? Does it make them holy or something? I could never quite figure out what if anything the bloodstone was for. “Subspecies” in spite of its inherent narrative faults and logic gaps is a time when Full Moon was trying to deliver us quality entertainment.
Ninjas vs. Vampires (2010)
Director-Writer Justin Timpane is back and he’s bringing fanged fucks with him in the sequel to his highly entertaining “Ninjas vs. Zombies.” Except this time he’s armed with a bigger budget and a cast with more acting abilities this go around. The versus titles are a niche in the Straight to DVD market, so Timpane is already ahead of the game with the sequel to his franchise which sees an innocent bystander fall to the clutches of a vampire attack only to be saved at the last minute by the Ninja clan who arrive in time to hunt the vamps, but not prevent our protagonist from becoming a vampire.
Stake Land (2011)
“Stake Land” is that type of movie that many indie film fans will take a liking to, primarily since every frame glitters with a Sundance gloss that make it suitable for the independent niche that’s become so popular in 2011. Which is not at all a criticism, but the film often feels like it’s appealing mainly to the indie buffs before the horror fans and that may alienate movie geeks to some degree. “Stake Land” from Jim Mickle is yet another post apocalyptic nightmare from Hollywood that ponders on the question: What if vampires took over the world? Mickle paints this world in such a gritty disgusting zeal with blood soaked carnage and raving maniacal vampires, that it often feels like a sequel to “30 Days of Night.”