Oddly enough “Vamp U” (formerly titled “Dr. Limptooth”) works much better as a horror movie than it does a comedy. Deep down it possesses the tone of one of those raucous horror comedies from the eighties that should rightfully star someone like Eddie Deezen or Linnea Quigley, and as a horror movie it’s a very effective tongue in cheek vampire film. As a comedy it’s a pretty decent riot, and one that may not inspire laughter, but will garner various giggles and chortles. When “Vamp U” decides it wants to be a straight up vampire movie, it’s a pretty wicked little throwback to the eighties, especially with Julie Gonzalo having a blast as the alpha vampire queen Chris, who begins sleeping with her vampire professor and turns in to a vampire mid-way.
Tag Archives: Vampires
Underworld: Awakening (2012)
What cruel irony that the latest subtitle for the mediocre “Underworld” series is called “Awakening” since for the most part I found myself incapable of staying awake through the majority of it. If you’re looking for a cure for insomnia and don’t want medication, put on “Underworld: Awakening” and you’ll definitely be out like a light within ten minutes. After writing off the series and expanding her horizons, Kate Beckinsale comes crawling back to her husband’s film series that made her a star and reprises the role of Selene. Still one of the most one-dimensional and cardboard action heroines of contemporary genre cinema, Selene is back yet again this time on the run from pretty much everyone. After years of the war between the vampires and the lycans (ugh), the human race has finally caught on.
Mockingbird Lane
This is one of the few times where my fandom has kind of come back to bite me in the ass. I am a fan of “The Munsters” and from day one was opposed to this radical reworking of the series. The darkly comic tone with a violent dramatic atmosphere made me irritated beyond belief. “Mockingbird Lane” surprising enough ends up being a wonderful re-imagining of the series that doesn’t quite alter the comic tone of the original series so much as it adds a lot of menace to it. Instead of a sitcom it’s a dark comedy drama, and instead of the eccentric tone there’s a more menacing and brooding color palette. What makes this special even better is that it completely changes the dynamic of the Munster family.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Back in the late nineties if you attached 2000 or Extreme to anything, it automatically meant it was going to be the best thing since the invention of gravity. Incidentally, for some reason Dimension Films felt adding 2000 to their new Dracula film meant it’d be an amazing new entry in to the endless films about the fanged master of the vampires. It wasn’t. “Dracula 2000” only promises certain new elements to the story, but in reality it’s just another mediocre Dracula film. It’s not awful, but it surely didn’t re-invent the wheel in terms of Dracula or vampire films. In reality much of it is influenced by “The Matrix” so much of the vampire foes bred by Dracula flip around, jump off walls, and battle their foes with martial arts.
Our Top Ten "Monsters" Episodes
1988’s “Monsters” was one of the many anthology shows in the eighties that managed to cash in on the anthology boom of the decade and offer up its own demented take on the concept. Like “Tales from the Darkside,” and “Twilight Zone” every episode provided its own story steeped in horror, science fiction, or fantasy but had on rule: It had to feature a monster in every episode. Every episode had a monster in one form or another.
Most times it was rather clever, other times it missed big time in its efforts to deliver something new (ahem–I’m looking at you, “My Zombie Lover,” and “Taps”). “Monsters” very much approached the genre with a mixed bag of tricks offering up some dark comedy, thick terror, and often ironic climaxes that succeeded in being a fun and unique series for genre buffs. While sadly fading in to obscurity, it’s still a very entertaining show, and it’s one I fondly re-visited after so many years off the air. To celebrate the lost formula of the anthology, we offer our top ten episodes of the series run.
Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood (1996)
I think with enough competent writers and good ideas, “Tales from the Crypt” could have lived on with a series of anthology horror pictures that could have told some bang up horror stories. I mean, the cinematic versions of the show are what John Carpenter originally planned for “Halloween.” Separate movies with various tales revolving around themes, and “Tales from the Crypt” almost pulled it off. They started off very well with “Demon Knight” and while they completely fumble with “Bordello of Blood,” it’s not a total disaster. There’s much to be desired, but there’s still a lot to enjoy here. It’s tough to follow up what the first film in the series accomplished as a low budget demon film with some great performances, but “Bordello of Blood” does try for individuality and humor where it fails in scares and creeps. I would not call this film scary at all, but it does supply some snarky humor and some incredible eye candy.
My Sucky Teen Romance (2012)
Director Emily Hagins gained instant fame in 2006 when she recruited all of her friends and family to direct her first feature horror film. The production and Hagins’ enthusiasm for the genre garnered the attention of film critic Harry Knowles (who cameos as a vampire expert) who took Hagins under his wing helping to fuel her film career. In 2009, Hagins then became the topic of the excellent documentary “Zombie Girl: The Movie,” a light hearted and entertaining look at Hagins relentless efforts to complete her feature length zombie film “Pathogen.” The documentary took festivals by storm and remains one of the more heart felt depictions of filmmaking ever produced. Now that we’ve played catch up, “My Sucky Teen Romance” is director Emily Hagins one step forward in to a much more legitimate career as a film director.