Normally this would be the point in my review where I start off warning that unless you get seizures, “Mega Monster…” might not be the movie for you. But then I grew up watching “Power Rangers” religiously, and played Super Nintendo non-stop so I’m two steps ahead of the game. For folks who have yet to really be exposed to this sort of content, “Mega Monsters” will serve as a pure sensory overload. It’s colorful, loud, bright, vibrant, loud, explosive, loud, incoherent, often times breakneck paced, and did I mention loud?! But seriously, while a film like this has little story, you really have to pay attention to know what’s happening with the narrative and I mean you really have to pay attention.
I found myself sitting back to watch and asking the screen “Why does he have a blood thirsty nature? Wait, wait, wait! Why is the Earth’s fate in balance? Wait, wait, why did the legend begin now if we’re in the middle? What’s that giant crystal?” So eventually, I just sat back and let the movie take me where it wanted. I stopped trying to steer. Unless you have an anime geek who knows the entire lore of Ultraman and has seen the prior films and or television series, there won’t be a single line of dialogue you’ll understand beyond simple words like ‘Children’ and ‘The.’ But as explained, I’ve watched Power Rangers (Super Sentai, okay Pop Culture geeks?), so a sloppy ridiculous story that makes zero sense outside of anyone who has an extensive knowledge is not new ground. However if you want to stay for the fantastic fight sequences and gorgeous visuals along with the incredible characters, than “Mega Monster” doesn’t have to make sense to you or me.
However if it makes sense to you, can you email me with a beat by beat rundown of the story? In a distant galaxy Earth formed a space police in an effort to help protect themselves from galactic monsters trying to thwart their efforts to mine for elements that can help them save the planet. Now there is one Ultra man, but there is also many (Ultra people?) who also train and fight for the galaxy. There is an Ultraman who is supreme, but there are Ultra women too. A monster robot thing breaks out an Evil Ultra Man (Why is he evil?) from space prison (no, really, it’s called space prison) to… I’m assuming to break the negative crystal to allow the entrance of the galactic monsters who can’t enter thanks to the crystal. This is all hearsay and conjecture at the moment, but I swear it’s what I thought the movie was about. If there’s an Ultra Planet why does the prologue state there is one Ultra Man? With Ultraworld in jeopardy, one of the Ultra citizens turn to the space police where the head Ultra guy is traveling with them.
Giant monsters, giant robots, and many, many fights with tacked on exposition later, and I was grasping my head and taking some aspirin. Again Koichi Sakamoto’s film isn’t the worst thing ever made as it’s clearly for one kind of audience, with a visually beautiful and colorful entry in to a series of films and television shows, but I was lost from minute one. If you can find some sort of entertainment value like I did well then… god speed good soldier. In all honesty, I had absolutely no idea what was happening during “Mega Monster Battle: Ultra Galaxy – The Movie,” but I had fun with it. I think. There are giant monsters aplenty, Ultra people, cool special effects, and marvelous direction, so that counts for something with me most times. I wouldn’t suggest it to a newcomer, but if you want a film that’s based around pure raw special effects and nothing more, this is right up your alley.