For a while I kept 2013’s “Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection” on candidates for the worst movies of the year top ten for many months. I actually intended to brand it the worst movie at one point. But while it is the worst movie of the year, there’s simply no point in putting it in the top ten at all. It’s not because at its core it is a stupid independent film with a low budget, but because complaining about “Night of the Living Dead” wannabes is pointless at this period of film.
Once upon a time an independent filmmaker named George Romero made a risky horror movie on a very low budget in a farm house. The movie was a masterpiece. He didn’t get to copyright the title in time, thus the film was thrown in to the public domain. It was indeed a flawless film.
Years later with the easy accessibility of the video format, companies began releasing the film for an easy buck, and then as the technology became more affordable, these studios began tinkering with it. They colored it, re-edited it, added new music, and gave it a comedic dub. Years later when the technology became so easy to afford it was as simple as a click on your computer, many filmmakers thought they’d have a good time piggybacking on George Romero’s back and include their own shitty storylines in the process.
If George Romero ever had the chance to collect on all of the filmmakers who butchered his film, he’d be so rich his great, great grandchildren would be stinking wealthy. Hence we got the 30th anniversary, and the 3D Remake, most recently Resurrection, and soon enough Genesis. Yes, someone is making yet another stupid “Night of the Living Dead” carbon copy. And they never learn from how bad their movies are, either.
The 3D remake white washed the entire cast, and included an unnecessary sub-plot with Sid Haig, with respect to the great Haig. “Resurrection” takes it to whole new heights of idiocy and boredom that simply can’t be expressed enough. Sadly now that you can simply borrow a camcorder from a friend and illegally download film editing programs, “Night” is always going to be copied and butchered, until someone can find a way to get the film back and give it to back to Romero.
It’s not just crappy, it’s 3D crappy!
Screw the star on the walk of fame, give him his fucking movie back!
But then there are always going to be remakes, what I’m specifically tired of is the endless dependence on George A. Romero. Granted, I’m a Romero fan boy, but there have been other people out there who rethought the zombie, too. “Return of the Living Dead” made then running brain feeding monsters that couldn’t be brought down by bullets, “Re-Animator” made them rabid monsters, “Pet Sematary” made them re-animated relatives that soured over time in to murderous fiends. There was also “Dead Alive,” “Undead,” “Zombi,” and the list goes on. Why do these filmmakers feel like latching in to Romero’s mold all the damn time. About ninety percent of the independent zombie films I’ve ever seen never actually try to shift or break the formula.
It’s just more of the shambling monsters with the typical characters we saw in the original film from Romero. And there is almost always a Romero reference. In “Strippers vs. Zombies,” there was the Romero Skating Rink, and in “Zone of the Dead” there was an army officer named Savini. I mean, these little nods stopped being clever and started just becoming crutches, a very long time ago.
Just because it’s familiar and something we recognize doesn’t automatically make it good. The only reason we spent twenty minutes in “Resurrection” on a character who is offed in the beginning of the movie is to latch on to Romero’s story and cash in on Romero’s original film. I not only want to see independent filmmakers trying to build their own formula for zombie movies, but to stop depending on Romero. He had his own unique stamp and it hasn’t often been duplicated.
“Shaun of the Dead” was an ode to Romero, but only worked because it was made by people who knew what the hell they were doing. Edgar Wright is a brilliant director, Simon Pegg, and Edgar Wright are comedy geniuses. They’re fine holding Romero’s bag for a little while. And they didn’t press their luck with a sequel, either.
I’d love to see indie filmmakers ending their imitations of Bub, Rhodes, Ben, Barbara, Cooper, Stephen, Flyboy, and the like, and just try to raise the bar for once. Zombie movies are out there by the hundreds because they’re easy to make. You cast some friends, go in to the woods with some camera, slap some green make up and fake blood on them, make them walk sleepily, concoct some story about a virus and survivors, bingo bango, you have a zombie movie.
I don’t have a problem with that, but spend time on your script while you’re splashing those fake entrails with corn syrup. Is that too much to ask? When you think outside the box, you inevitably come up with “The Dead,” “Dead Set,” and “Cockneys vs. Zombies.”
Hell, the most compelling zombie movie I saw this year was a ten minute short film called “Cargo” about a father who is bitten by a zombie and decides to find safety for his toddler daughter who is strapped on his back. And I loved the “A Ride in the Park” segment in “V/H/S/2.”
With a little time and effort, you can take your tendrils off of Romero’s neck and try to become the newest standard for the sub-genre. People are too concerned with mimicking Romero to even try to develop something we’ve never seen before. It doesn’t signify love for the genre, it indicates an insecurity that your film might fail, thus you clasp to Romero hoping fans will be more forgiving. It’s not going to happen.
Please stop imitating Romero, filmmakers. It leads nowhere. Nearly all of the remakes of “Night” have sucked, save for Savinis’ remake and that was made in an effort to get the rights for “Night” back to Romero.
And while we’re at it, keep your filthy mitts off of “Dawn” and “Day.”