Critters Attack! (2019) [Blu-Ray/DVD/Digital]

It’s been slim pickings for fans of “Critters” and it’s a shame that even after this film, there’s still not a lot of options for us. We’re either stuck with “The New Binge” which was nigh unwatchable, or “Critters Attack!” which is quite boring and defeats the whole idea of a sequel by dodging everything that makes these movies so fun. It even wastes the idea of a friendly Crite named Bianca by making the monster some aimless prop. Let’s just say Gizmo is in no threat of being dethroned as cutest monster ever.

Drea is anxious to get in to a good college but is stuck making deliveries for a local sushi place while taking care of her little brother Phillip. After a meteor crashes on Earth, Drea’s co-worker is attacked while making a delivery and becomes food to the newborn Crites. They’re back, they’re hungry, and they’re as vicious as ever. Stuck with Trissy and Jack, two kids she’s stuck babysitting, Drea and Phillip discover a new type of Crite. Nicknamed Bianca, she’s a friendly female crite that might be the key to stopping the invasion of the hungry monsters. Along the way Dee, from the original film, is tracking the newly born Crites intent on eradicating them.

The “Critters” movies had such a dark sense of humor and clear cut sense of gore that made them so much fun. Whether it was a man in a bunny outfit having his groin eaten in front of children, or an old scrap dealer being taken down and mauled by Crites, “Critters” was fun first and foremost. Something that “Critters Attack!” overall fails to be. I appreciate wanting to inject new life and a new angle in to this series, but writer Scott Lobdell and director Bobby Miller don’t seem to understand what makes these movies so much fun.

The Critters are menacing and silly, they’re deadly but fun, and they have an insatiable appetite for anything moving. Miller and co. make a big to do about bringing back the Critter ball, but the key element missing is the insane gore and gut munching. Miller cuts away from almost all of the big money shots, and even cuts away from the ctitter ball rolling over a hapless frat boy. Apart from that, the movie garners its share of dull characters and under developed supporting characters, along with a walk on from Dee Wallace that goes nowhere. I’m still holding out hope for a great reboot or sequel down the line, but for now—this is as good as it’s going to get. At least there’s the deluxe box set I can always re-visit.

The Blu-Ray comes with a digital copy and a standard DVD Edition. There’s a scene specific commentary with Bobby Miller and Marty Krite. “Engineering Gore: Designing Critters” is an eight minute talk with the cast and crew who talk about the practical effects used, the robotic critters and making them look effective on film. “Critters: An Out-of-this-World-Experience” is a seven minute talk with Bobby Miller, Dee Wallace, and the rest of the cast and crew, as well as “The Critter Ball” a two minute discussion about the iconic Critter Ball, and how it implemented some of the original puppets from “Critters 2.”