Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark [Paperback]

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“The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out. The worms play pinochle on your snout.”

When I was in fourth grade, my school had their yearly book fair. It was a time where kids could go to a large class room where Scholastic Books would litter the entire room with their merchandise for prices ranging anywhere from 25 cents to ten dollars. Of course when I spotted “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark,” I snatched it up and re-read it at least five times. Which is saying something for a kid who, at that age, took every possible excuse to not read. Alvin Schwartz’s book is one of the first introductions to horror and urban folklore. And judging by the many other nineties kids, Mr. Schwartz’s book was a source of horrific inspiration for them, as well.

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The Greatest Bad Movies of All Time [Digital]

Not many movie critics earn the privilege to put out a book about one hundred of some of the best worst movies ever made. But author Phil Hall’s film knowledge dwarfs so many other alleged film critics that it’s only obvious Hall should release a book about anti-classics after years of his celebrated “The Bootleg Files” online.

“The Greatest Bad Movies Of All Time” from author Phil Hall brings together a hundred of arguably the worst and most bafflingly awful films ever brought to the mainstream, and it’s quite the excellent read. Author Phil Hall is gladly very unique in his choices, and I found two particular entries to be stand outs.

Author Phil Hall writes about the utter mess that was “Beyond the Sea,” the Kevin Spacey vanity project about Bobby Darin’s life. I fondly remember anxiously awaiting to see it, and being so embarrassed for the man.

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Joe Bob Goes Back to the Drive-In [Paperback]

“I will never do anything that violates my personal and professional code of journalistic ethics. However, I will do anything for money.”

Joe Bob enters the video age! Don’t worry, though, he’s still all about the drive-in. It’s just Joe Bob is now in the era where studios are sending critics screeners, and half of the book is mainly reviews for drive-in movies, and movies on VHS that Joe Bob either really liked or really hated. He’s hardly ever middle ground. As his loyal readers express anger at his changing of format for the sake of keeping his job, Joe Bob devotes a column in the book to explaining why he’s suddenly reviewing VHS tapes, and of course it’s a necessary evil.

I mean it was the late eighties after all. And during this time, Joe Bob was no longer just cruising drive-in movies, as now he was being sent VHS tapes, and was going to cable television for his famed show on The Movie Channel in US cable television. But hey, Joe Bob is still the same guy. And he’s still as funny as ever. In this second compilation, Joe Bob spares no one with his rants about the government, and public education, while reviewing movies that he feels warrant mentioning for his reader.

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Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In [Paperback]

“Women should never be judged by their personal appearance. They Should be Judged by the Size of their Hooters.”  – Joe Bob’s Rules to Live By

It’s easy to see why John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs would arouse the ire of pretty much everyone in the South. He is not a writer that’s intent on being politically correct, nor does he really pull his punches with his reviews.

He refers to women only as bimbos, he calls men turkeys, he has an article devoted to Steven Spielberg and his “wimpy” movies, he bashes Gene Shallit, he mocks Moustapha Akkad for being an ayrab, and he calls people who perfer to go to indoor movies rather than drive-ins, folks too poor to afford cars.

But that’s all apart of the character of Joe Bob Briggs. Rather than writing a Drive-In report as John Bloom, writer Bloom created Joe Bob Briggs, a Southern gent who is politically incorrect, offends at every turn, and has a deep passion for the drive-in.

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Girls and Corpses: Volume #7 [Magazine]

gandc-springThe girl can’t help it. “Girls and Corpses” celebrates their Spring volume by bringing aboard their own bonafide spring hotty, Courtney Stodden. Whether or not you’re a fan, there’s no denying the news savvy highly publicized Stodden is insanely hot, and “Girls and Corpses” takes advantage of her photo shoot, making sure to show off how Stodden manages to keep every page of her photo spread burning to the touch.

There’s even a delectable fold out poster for folks who want to appreciate Stodden every single day of the year. Stodden is definitely a model for the horror magazine that will keep readers turning back to her spread again, and again, and she takes full zeal in her new cover shoot by posing with her very own corpse groom. One very lucky corpse groom.

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Nothing Men (Digital)

In the interest of full disclosure, I am a long time friend with author Doug Brunell, but this review is as objective and fair as possible.

Reading “Nothing Men” is a lot like the beginning of a rollercoaster, where you’re riding up further and further and building up to momentum. You’re sitting waiting thinking “Here it comes, here it comes,” and when the rush finally does come, author Doug Brunell delivers on a final half that soaked with blood, guts, and an ending that will likely make you re-think travelling to small towns ever again. “Nothing Men” made me think about the like of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Tobe Hooper, and prompted flashbacks of films like “The Wicker Man” and “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

No matter how far you run, you’re never really quite out of the grasp of the environment and its deadly residents that dwell in its bowels, and that sends a surge of dread and a bleak atmosphere in “Nothing Men” that’s wrenching. Especially in its final pages. Author Brunell simply doesn’t let his characters off the hook, and punishes just about everyone in the book. It’s almost like a splatter version of “Funny Games” at times. Partly they pay for playing god, and partly for their hubris in the situation. Hubris is the ultimate undoing for just about everyone in the book, and Brunell unfolds layers of Valley Bottom slowly with every chapter.

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Three on a Meathook: Interview with Author Doug Brunell

I was first introduced to Doug Brunell back in 2004, when I discovered his column “Excess Hollywood” at Film Threat. His column was often so addictive and volatile I spent a few days reading the entire archive. When I joined Film Threat in 2005, I made a point of befriending Doug, because he’s simply one of my favorite online writers and I had to pick his brain and learn from him. Since then, Doug has been a consistent source of creative inspiration, an all around nice guy, and someone who isn’t smug about his talent. After reading his gory new horror novel “Nothing Men,” we interviewed Doug about his book and views about movies and entertainment since he is still a very ardent and influential voice in film criticism.

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