I really wanted to like this. I really wanted to like it to the point where I was almost forcing myself to enjoy it, but damn it, I just didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have or should have. Comedy is a tough thing to create and surely enough “The Ninja Always Rings Once” proves that rule with a short story that not only really made no sense, but never sparked a laugh from yours truly.
Open Water 2: Adrift (2006)
I don’t know what I thought of “Open Water 2” in the end. I mean everyone knows by now that it’s not technically a sequel, just another movie that was branded “Open Water 2” but it makes its connection to the first film pretty much incidentally. As “Adrift” this is a hellish and grueling thriller that’s reliant of course on paranoia, elemental danger, and being marooned in an area with no hope of rescue or miracles. I’m a huge fan of the original movie “Open Water,” which is one of the most underrated and excruciating experiences ripped from the headlines that translated well. “Adrift” is along the same themes involving a group of friends who go yachting and find themselves in the middle of the ocean stuck in the water after forgetting to pull down the ladder on the boat. As the hours wage on, character Amy’s newborn daughter is still aboard starving and suffering from the heat, and now the folks have to find a way to get on the boat before she dies.
Live Free or Die Hard: Unrated Version (2007)
So, I opted on the DVD to watch the Unrated version, which sported a few F bombs and a little more edge. I’m sure the Rated and Unrated version probably didn’t sport many differences, but I owed it to myself to give the Unrated version the top priority. I won’t babble about Die Hard, or why the PG-13 rating is stupid, instead I’ll talk about Mary Elizabeth Winstead. This girl is absolutely gorgeous and sure, she may not be Meryl Streep, but she’s definitely one of the finer girls in film today and I dig her role her as John McClane’s daughter Lucy who is, like her dad, rebellious, smart mouthed, and always seems to stare evil down the throat with a smirk.
Epic Movie (2007)
It’s sad that the days when a spoof showed potential of pure brilliance or cult standing are long gone and now usher in nothing but incredibly awful or mediocre movies that assume spoofing is done best when satirizing the scenes and not the ideas. “Epic Movie” is the next step in the evolution of this sub-genre where you can see the writers getting collectively lazier with each title as the years pass.
The Bridge to Terabithia (2007)
Anna Sophia Robb and Josh Hutcherson give strong performances as the two heroes of the tale who find connection with one another in a school that’s basically locked them out socially. Jess is a bullied outcast, and Leslie is a free spirited thinker who is instantly a target for bullying once she displays individual thought. The performances from the child actors had me at attention and they both deliver their characters with great talent. Hutcherson’s take on the conflicted and neglected artist is often times heart wrenching, while Leslie is an quickly sympathetic heroine who we want to see more of as the time goes on her. Robb has a wide-eyed innocence about her that makes her the perfect compliment to the principle cast.
Cloverfield (2008)
We live in an age where we’re always watching someone. Cameras watch us, guards watch the cameras, surveillance videos keep an eye on potential criminals, we watch people on web cams, we pay to watch women undress for us, we peer into celebrities’ lives through tabloids and candid cameras, we watch reality shows built around surveillance cameras and hidden video, and we’re constantly being watched by our government who keep us monitored and at close range, so it was only natural that horror movies would grow to reflect that. “Cloverfield” is one in the “Blair Witch” formula that doesn’t try to give us a film, but more purports to give us actual home videos through the eyes of average upper class New Yorkers and keep us watching through a camera lens. Through this camera, we are the voyeurs.
Our Favorite Big Bads!
What do we mean by our favorite big bads? Don’t be fooled, we’re not listing our all time favorite Kaijus, because we’re not big kaiju fans. What we are fans of are giant monsters, monsters that stomp, monsters that destroy, and monsters with a point and purpose. Since “Cloverfield” is going to be stomping into theaters January 18th with incredible anticipation and mystery, we thought ringing in the anticipated film with a list of our all time favorite giant monsters would be a kick.
So we sifted through our library of movies, we googled a lot of giant monsters and we went through some of our favorites. In the end, even though we liked Gamera, and Mothra, and Mechagodzilla, and even though we passed on some like Voltron, and the beast from The Relic, we couldn’t help but feel a giant affection for these monstrous furious baddies who took a small city and made it their bitch. Some of these are commentaries on nuclear war, some of these are commentary on space travel and disrupting our oceanic settings, and some of these are just plain old mean and angry beasts who take joy from eating helpless citizens and hapless police officers.
“Cloverfield” and a mysterious giant monster wreaks pure bloody havoc on New York City soon, and we thought that it was the right time to invite some contemporaries over in hopes that JJ Abrams’ monster ends up as horrifying as these fine individuals. Lock up your children, call the army, and ready your tanks, these baddies are on the prowl!