Dune (2021)

Frank Herbert’s lengthy scifi trilogy are a series of books that Hollywood has tried again and again to conquer since their initial release. From Alejandro Jodorowsky’s mythical attempts, to David Lynch’s less than stellar effort, and so on, “Dune” is that one series of books Hollywood has been aching to grab some money off of. For Denis Villeneuve, he’s the perfect director to film such an elaborate, complex, and exhaustive science fiction story. “Dune” never quite turns out as great as it has every bit of potential to, but it’s saved primarily thanks to the stellar performances from an all star case and Villeneuve’s remarkable direction.

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Bad Movie Monday: Dune (1984)

I’m going to teach everyone on the internet how to properly say Denis Villeneuve’s name because most of you in English speaking countries are butchering it so goddamn bad that I feel the need to personally step in and address this incredibly unimportant issue. Probably the worst attempt I’ve heard so far was someone on YouTube calling him Dunneees Villaynueve, which is this weird thing Americans do. If they can’t say a French word or name they’ll just pronounce it with a cartoonishly Spanish accent and hope for the best. Take it from me, someone who is French, you sound ridiculous doing that. Okay, ready for your lesson kids? Take notes. There may be a test. “Denis” is pronounced as if you’re almost saying “The Knee” only with more of a D sound at the beginning. Relatively simple. As for “Villeneuve”, repeat after me: “Ville”, like the word Evil without the E. Pretend you’re Donald Pleasance in Halloween. “Neu”, like the word Nerve without the R. And finally a hard V sound at the end.

The Knee Ville-Neu-V. NOW SAY IT RIGHT! Good job. Now, what the hell was I doing? Oh, yeah… I was going to review David Lynch’s DUNE.

Cue music by Toto.

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Madame Web (2024)

In Sony’s quest to maintain the Spider-Man trademark, they continue milking whatever character from his universe that they can, no matter how irrelevant or nonsensical they may be. In the now established “Don’t Say Spider-Man” Spider-Man Movieverse, S.J. Clarkson directs what is essentially “Donnie Darko” but with a heavy theme about Spiders. The writers do everything they can to allude to Spider-Man and Peter Parker but, I’m assuming because of contractual stipulations, not once do we ever get to see Peter Parker or Spider-man, nor do we ever hear his name uttered. Uncle Ben does play a big role, though, because he is not canon in the MCU.

It’s all so tricky.

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