Punisher: Warzone (2008) (DVD)

punisher-wz

What Lexi Alexander and Lions Gates attempts to accomplish with this new title in the Marvel movie lexicon is a complete restart of the Punisher franchise and they do this by completely forgetting any and all of the events from the Thomas Jane version and in some respects it’s nice to have a movie that pays due attention to the original origin of madman Frank Castle. Hell, I loved the John Travolta vehicle and still do in spite of fans belly aching, but god help me, “Warzone” is a better film. Why? Frankly because there are very few liberties taken with the mythos and we get down to the nitty gritty.

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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

Street_Fighter_Hi Hollywood, what’s new Capcom? I thought I should start this review here with a bit of Tony Robbins tough love and ask why you still feel the need to option movies whose origins live in the video game world. When will you ever learn that there’s no such thing as a good video game movie and there never will be? Hollywood, you’ve put us through misery for years trying to take plotless video games and turn it on its ear, and have also managed to simultaneously take games with narrative and structure and destroy it without fail. What’s the deal? Don’t the video game movie flops ever help you to realize that there’s just no point in adapting even the most popular games? I’ve lived through Doom, Tomb Raider and Resident Evil and we’ve yet to see something good derived from either of them.

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Hulk Vs. (2009) (Two-Disc Special Edition DVD)

Hulk-VsIt only stands to reason that Marvel would create such an unusual pairing of short films based around two of Marvel’s flagship characters. What with the Hulk smashing the box office, the development of a “Thor” film, and Wolverine being granted the lead in a new series and a series of action movies, it suddenly comes to mind that these pairings aren’t so odd after all. Once you break it down to its core, it’s really Marvel testing the waters for the fan boys and girls yet again. And if you’re not over thinking things like moi, there’s always the possibility that Marvel just wanted to get three of the greatest Marvel heroes and make them go one, two smashing the Earth and spitting blood in a stand off that only exemplifies the appeal and why my local DVD store had to restock every week since these movies premiered on shelves across the nation.

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Let the Right One In (Låt den rätte komma in) (2008)

There really isn’t much of anything directors can do with the vampire sub-genre anymore and that’s been a given for horror geeks for a long time. I’m repellent to any and all vampire fang films that come to the forefront and I’ve made it a rule to carefully dissect most fang films after constant turkeys passed my way. Thankfully “Let the Right One In” isn’t your average vampire movie. And while it’s trite to make such a declaration the truth remains: “Let the Right One In” is a different vampire film and one I loved with every aching horror geek bone inside me.

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Resident Evil (Biohazard): Degeneration (2008)

Sure it watches like a compilation of cut scenes from past games, and sure in some cases it’s an attempt at a reboot for the series, but all I could think about while watching “Regeneration” is: Was this so fucking hard to do for fans and general horror fans? We had to suffer through three really bad derivative quasi-horror films and now we’re given a virtually completely animated movie that just gets it right. Why is it so hard to release this and let us endure Paul WS Anderson’s butchery in the first place? “Degeneration” pretty much sums up its goal from the opening shot where WilPharmacy’s have taken over the city leaving where Raccoon City left off.

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The Dark Knight (2008) (Deluxe Edition DVD)

TDK-DEThere have been almost two editions of “The Dark Knight” on both DVD and Blu-Ray. I’m happy to admit that they’re all warranted releases. Not only does Warner give us one of the best comic book movies ever made along turning Batman in a tragic tale of becoming a hero in situations he’s just not sure he handle. Take for instance the explosions in the hospital. What I love about the joker here is not that he has a distinct love for violence and doesn’t come with a sub-plot where we’re supposed to sympathize for his life story unlike the “Spider-Man” movies where villains couldn’t just be villains.

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Twilight (2008)

e0079138_4c2204123df67Let’s get real here people, up until the last year, not a single person beyond black make up and death metal fandom knew who or what the Twilight series was. I mean at least with Harry Potter I had some sort of preamble leading in to viewing the first four movies, but “Twilight” snuck out nowhere in the cinema scene and was destined to be a hit in spite of the slight obscurity. Just gazing down at a large picture of emo females with black lipstick, black digital cameras, and their own fan club I knew that this cliché, clunky mess of a story would bring in the big bucks. Because regardless of how passionate and antipathetic I or other critics feel, the movie will break the box office because author Stephanie Meyer knows her audience better than we know ourselves, don’t they?

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