It should serve as no surprise to the people who know me that I think “Cabin Fever” is without a doubt one of the worst horror movies ever made and one of the worst movies ever made. Seeing it in theaters was definitely one of the most excruciating and disappointing experiences I’ve ever had. This led me to form a pure hatred for Eli Roth and everything he stands for. Not to mention I did not enjoy Ti West’s film debut “The Roost,” so the chances of a sequel to Roth’s piece of junk entertaining me was utterly slim.
Tag Archives: Comedy
Massacrator (2010)
Watching “Massacrator” is frantic, jarring and violent, and in the end you feel very violated. I had every reason to love Pierre Ayote’s ode to Grindhouse silliness but instead I just couldn’t jibe with what was happening on-screen. Being a simultaneous ode to everything from Grindhouse to science fiction we meet Massacrator, a borg sent in to the present (or future?) to… kill a girl, I think. After decapitating a few poor suckers, he makes his way to a young woman who manages to get away just in time to avoid his super punch.
The Final Destination (2009) (DVD)
Yep this is it, the Final Destination, the alleged final installment in the “Final Destination” franchise that promises to close up the entire storyline. And yes, I’m not buying it either. When there is money to be made, sequels are still a potential cash cow and I think the series will continue to live on when the studios decide it’s time to make some money off of this carnival of cruel and painful deaths. What “The Final Destination” promises is not what it delivers. There are simply no questions answered to the big questions. Who are chosen to receive these premonitions? Are these people just random or do they possess unusual powers or gifts? Are they apart of a legacy or do they just happen to be apart of an accident or misfire? Who or what grants them these premonitions? Does death give it to them as some sort of sick game? And if there is some mystical being granting these people the gift to foretell the next move of death why do they want these people to be one step ahead of death?
The PC Thug: Celebrating “The Simpsons” 20th Anniversary
The canvas of television has changed drastically since “The Simpsons” premiered. Reality TV was a fresh concept, FOX was only just starting out, and the animated sitcom was a wildly unexplored idea. Before “The Simpsons” the only real animated sitcoms we had was “The Flintstones,” a pop culture gem that spoofed “The Honeymooners” and was intended for adults. Instead it ran for five seasons and eventually became a franchise meant for children. Then there was “The Jetsons” a rip off of “The Flintstones” that focused on a family in the future, another mature series that became a hit with children later on in its run.
Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2009
10. Pontypool
I’m one of those people who very much looked forward to “Pontypool,” and am not ashamed to admit that I was utterly disappointed with this production. It was dull as day old bread, lacked in sheer suspense and tension and sadly didn’t quite creep me out as much as its double “Dead Air” did. Not quite a zombie movie, people like to brand it as such and there aren’t even many zombies that pop up. What we get in the end is a practice in a cinematic dry humping that promises frights and never actually delivers. Seek out “Dead Air” for a nearly identical premise that works much better.
Cinema Crazed's Top 10 of 2009
10. Trick ‘r Treat
Michael Dougherty’s love letter to Halloween experienced so many problems since its introduction that it took literally years for horror fans to finally be able to watch it. When they did the reception was mostly positive. “Trick R Treat” is a classic anthology film that perfectly captures the feel of Halloween and celebrates the holiday’s greatest elements. From urban legends to classic monster mashes, Dougherty pulls out all the stops to tell various stories, all of which are filled with twists that you simply won’t see coming. So brilliant is it that you’ll need to see it three times to fully capture the essence of its in jokes and tricks and treats. Dougherty’s ode to All Hallow’s Eve is a title that won’t easily be forgotten.
Yogi's First Christmas (1980) (DVD)
As an animated movie, Hanna Barbera could have done much better. “Yogi’s First Christmas” isn’t the worst animated movie I’ve ever seen but in terms of quality, it all feels like such a rushed product that was pushed in to production in time for Christmas. The line work is shaky, the coloring is bland, the character models are fuzzy and there are even a few errors that will give the keen observer a hard time.