When you really recollect what you’ve just seen, when the credits start to roll and you’re settled in and thinking back with a fond remembrance, you know that “Spanglish” isn’t an exceptional movie. As a comedy the laughs are minimal. It’s more of an absurdist comedy than a laugh out loud comedy, as a drama it can be manipulative, and altogether it’s just mediocre. Now, I for one, dislike anything that’s praised as brilliant when the product is mediocre (Harry Potter), but what sold me on “Spanglish” was not the story, but the performances, and the key powerful performances are not from the people who obtain top billing.
Tag Archives: Comedy
Mean Girls (2004)
Based on the novel which is not a narrative story yet a text book/survival guide, writer Tina Fey really pulls off a feat here. “Mean Girls” is a basic analyses of how women are like animals, which is accurate within the context of the events that unfold for Cady Heron. Directed by Mark Waters, “Mean Girls” centers on Cady Heron, a young girl who moved from Africa with her family and is now introduced in to the high school mainstream, another jungle with students whom act like wildlife, hunting in packs and basically attacking one another. Cady is exposed to the main clique in school, The Plastics. What “Mean Girls” has going for it above all of the other high school comedies is the talent behind it.
Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove (2005)
What I always enjoy is the schlock brought upon us by new directors that take it upon themselves to carve their own pastiche with films that both spoof yet pay respect to the films of old that audiences are no longer interested in. What William Winckler does or tries his hardest in doing is both spoofing the classic horror film while paying his own homage telling this story that is both simple but entertaining. “Blood Cove” is often cheesy and goofy, but that’s the intent, its low tech in many respects with the creature’s monster suit and the Frankenstein make-up.
Fat Albert (2004)
I used to love “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids”. As a child I spent many days watching the Cosby Kids from their junkyard solve problems while bringing us along for the fun that ensued. It was really no surprise to me when I discovered that the adaptation was being filmed, especially with the successes of popular shows being processed in to bad movies like “Scooby-Doo”, and “Rocky and Bullwinkle”. Very few were hits, and many were utter misses, because instead of giving us a truly good story that works, they were just made to cash in on the popularity and take our money. Luckily, I never paid for any of them. “Fat Albert”–though not as awful as claimed repeatedly–is still a terrible film and was a bit of a match to sit through.
Alien 51 (2004)
[In reference to our main character Cleo]
Randy: Does she seem a little off to you?
Officer: She’s hot, Randy. She can be as off as she wants.
It’s a pretty safe bet that “Alien 51” is quite possibly one of the worst science fiction monster movies I’ve ever seen. I challenge you to find something else so creatively impotent, so utterly derivative, and so nonsensical as the movie I spent ninety minutes drudging and fast-forwarding through. Nothing in this film makes the slightest lick of sense, and it’s clear that either the script was horribly done, or the directors lost so much money, they literally spent the second half simply winging it, coming up with a remaining plot that is so stupid. You know a movie is desperate when it’s biggest star is Heidi Fleiss, you know a movie is desperate when it boasts “Starring Heidi Fleiss”, and you know a movie is desperate when its big attempted draw-in was a has been model who appears as a mustache twirling villainess.
Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
Potential filmmakers of America, or any country, listen up: If you’re going to make a vampire movie, show vampires, if you’re going to make a slasher movie, show some murders, and if you’re going to make a werewolf movie, show some actual fucking werewolves! I don’t care how you show them, just show them! Claymation, animated, bad CGI, anything, but if you’re going to promise us werewolves, give us werewolves! I can put up with bad acting, irritating characters, horrible direction, and a sloppy narrative, but when you have a rushed storyline that leads up to nothing, you best be prepared for a paddlin’. And lookin’ at my paddle? Oh, you best believe that’s a paddlin’.
Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave (2005)
I don’t want to live in the world presented on “Return of the Living Dead”. Not because of the zombies. Because zombies, man… they scare me. But because people are stupid in the world of ROTLD. Really stupid. There’s a big rave and no one can notice people being attacked, or getting their scalps torn from the roots while undead people feast on the gooey insides because–hey, it’s a party, anything can happen. Let me tell you, I can notice when someone has burnt themselves with a cigarette (which is usually funny within itself) in a crowded street, so I think I’d notice someone having their head torn open by someone’s teeth, even in a crowded room with blaring music on a constant loop, but then again this is an extremely low-budget set of sequels to a classic zombie series. Sheesh, Ellory Elkayem, you were so good at comedy in “Eight Legged Freaks”–what happened?!