Return of the Killer Tomatoes (1988): Special Edition [Blu-Ray]

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Good God, it’s usually around the fifth movie in a horror series where the writers start poking fun at themselves, not the first sequel. John Astin is a mad professor named Gangreen who is secretly engineering tomatoes to be able to transform in to humans set to various genres of music, and plans to unleash another invasion on the world. Ten years after the events of “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” tomatoes are outlawed and anyone that is found with them is arrested. So naturally the big joke centerpiece of the film is that we follow a young pizza delivery man named Chad who helps operate a pizza place that uses every ingredient except tomato sauce.

Chad, who constantly makes deliveries to Gangreen’s mansion, is in love with his assistant Tara, who happens to be a tomato. When Tara escapes Gangreen’s clutches due to him attempting to kill a fuzzy tomato mutant, Tara seeks Chad’s help. Meanwhile Gangreen goes looking for her with his muscle bound killer tomato commandoes. “Return of the Killer Tomatoes” is one of the very few meta-science fiction comedy spoofs that sometimes don’t even seem to try to tell a story. It’s a movie so tight on budget that there are never actually any rampaging killer tomatoes here. This is more a romantic comedy with a Frankenstein twist involving a killer tomato that can turn in to a hot woman, who begins falling in love with a normal pizza delivery man.

It’s almost like tuning in to watch “Friday the 13^th” and only see people talk about Jason Voorhees, and never actually seeing him on screen at any point. “Return of the Killer Tomatoes” spends a lot of time spoofing its own premise that it never actually takes the time out to unfold a narrative. That doesn’t make the film terrible, but it does hinder any efforts director John De Bello has to aspire toward the comedic lengths of “Airplane!” Characters break the fourth wall, co-star George Clooney breaks character, and there’s even a gag involving product placement. It comes out of nowhere and is blatantly tacked on, but it is quite a funny segue, all things considered.

Every cast member works in different wave lengths in the film, with Starke playing his character as goofy as possible, while Clooney is mostly a straight man who tries tongue in cheek comedy every now and then. Astin is nearly loses teeth chewing the scenery, and his comically uneven turn is quite the attraction. “Return of the Killer Tomatoes” could very easily have been an awful film, but its sheer relentless absurdity and embracing of its low budget compensates for the fact that there aren’t really any killer tomatoes in the film.

Along with a reversible slip cover, there’s also a new interview with star Anthony Starke, who discusses his experiences working with George Clooney. True to form, Clooney was a prankster on set, and the pair had a good time partying. There’s a two minute still gallery, the original theatrical trailer, and a thirty second TV Spot. Finally, there’s a brand new audio commentary with writer and director John De Bello who, with host Michael Felsher, discusses his history with the movie series, and how he went about making the film on such a miniscule budget. This is an informative commentary with some fun anecdotes.

Intruder (2016)

Posted on June 27, 2016 by Emilie Black

Elizabeth is a talented cellist living in Portland, trying to make a career-making decision. During a huge storm, an intruder finds his way into her apartment and watches her go through life as normal. As time goes by, his stalking progresses from mild to worse.

Written and directed by Travis Z (Travis Zariwny), Intruder is a well-crafted thriller that plays on the idea of someone being on one’s apartment without their knowledge, stalking them, watching them, eating their food, moving things around. No matter how creative the kills in a slasher or how creative a monster, a realistic situation (well mostly realistic) of something that could actually happen to anyone, that could have been ripped from the headlines, is much scarier and much harder to pull off. The characters feel like real people and speak in a manner that could be someone the viewers know.

Granted, the lead is not someone most people encounter every day (an orchestra cellist) but she is written in a way that makes her believable and makes the viewer care for her. The rest of the characters are good as well, bringing more reality to the story by grounding it in people that could really exist. Most of this story rests on ambiance and on lead character Elizabeth’s shoulders so Louise Linton’s performance is crucial. Thankfully, Linton is quite good, showing the viewer’s nuanced emotions as she goes through life not knowing someone else is in her apartment. Once things start changing, she adjusts accordingly. The Intruder also does very well, giving off a creepy vibe while staying hidden most of the film. For the sake of not spoiling the film, the performer’s name is not going to be given away here.

No one in the cast here stick out like a sore thumb, there are no grating performances or bad ones which is definitely a good thing and a sign of great casting and good directing. As effects/blood are basically non-existent in “Intruder,” the one big important aspect here is the music as it adds to story like special effects do to horror. Having an orchestra cellist as a lead character, there had to be a few scenes of her playing. As someone rather unfamiliar with the instrument, it’s hard to tell if Louise Linton is playing, pretending really well, or just terrible at it, but what can be said is that it sounds very good when it should. The rest of the score adds to the creepy scenes by supporting and adding to the uneasy feeling of watching someone watch someone else without their knowledge.

Intruder is a creepy film with good performances and its music is beautiful. For anyone who’s ever felt like they’ve been watched or stalked, this one will bring back fears and make its effect much stronger. For those who have not, the way this is shot may give you a better understanding of those fears by caring for Elizabeth and what happens to her. This film is effective and works on many levels. For people who tend to stop watching a movie once the credits roll, do yourselves a favor and keep this one going as it has a mid-credit sequence and a post credit scene which are the real ending to this story and bring the whole of the film together. “Intruder” is entertaining and creepy, definitely worth a watch in a dark room, possibly alone to make its ambiance work even better.

The Funhouse Massacre (2015) [Blu-Ray]

Posted on June 22, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Well, damn.

I honestly never go in to a movie hoping its bad, but most times I almost never go in to a horror movie with high expectations. I went in to “The Funhouse Massacre” with almost no expectations, and oddly enough ended up with a damn good and damn fun splatter horror comedy. Not only did I thoroughly enjoy “The Funhouse Massacre,” but I plan to re-visit it during Halloween. Were I wealthy enough, I’d even buy a bunch of copies and put them in the bags of select trick or treaters. If you love Halloween, director Andy Palmer’s horror comedy is a blast, and the very definition of a Halloween treat. Granted, there are some flaws here and there (blatant CGI sky shots, and a brutally predictable final scene), but once you forgive them, you can appreciate the good intentions Andy Palmer has for the audience.

“The Funhouse Massacre” is gory, it’s sadistic, it’s funny, and it has a damn creative concept I had a lot of fun with. Director Palmer charges in to the premise head first, even giving a logical reason as to why literally no one recognizes these serial killers occupying a Halloween funhouse. Palmer’s movie feels almost like a stand alone Batman tale, where Candice De Visser plays a demented psychopath and brutally sexy maniac in the vein of Harley Quinn, who breaks out a group of vicious serial killers from a local asylum. Jere Burns is fantastic as Mental Manny, the ring leader of the funhouse killers who almost seems to be channeling his version of the Joker, at times. Burns was always a fine actor, but he goes the extra mile here. When the group of killers invades a local funhouse, unsuspecting Halloween fans walk in to death and murder.

We follow a group of friends out for the night, prepared for laughs, unaware that the gore and splatter around them are really helpless victims walking in to the slaughter. Realizing what’s happening much too late, the group is locked in the funhouse without any escape. It’s now up to a local sheriff, her inept deputy, and one of the group’s survivors to stop them. A lot of the mayhem and premise certainly has a catch to it, as Palmer isn’t content with just throwing blood at the wall, offering a very slick reveal in the chaotic climax that I thought really tied the movie together. The collective cast is just top notch, as Palmer brings the best out of his performers, from a small cameo by Robert Englund, to a very funny supporting performance by Ben Begley who steals scenes left and right.

“The Funhouse Massacre” is a grab bag of laughs, gore, and creeps, and it’s definitely a horror comedy you should look in to come October. The Blu-Ray release from Scream Factory comes with an interesting audio commentary with director Andy Palmer, producer Warner Davis and actors Clint Howard and Courtney Gains. There’s “Popcorn Talk’s Video Commentary” with director Andy Palmer and co-writers/co-stars Ben Begley and Renee Dorian. There’s the three minute segment “A Day on the Set,” a five minute Production Diary, and the original Theatrical trailer for “The Funhouse Massacre.”

Emelie (2015) [Blu-Ray]

Posted on June 21, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Michael Thelin’s “Emelie” is destined to go down as one of the classic killer babysitter movies of its sub-genre. It’s a mix of “Inside” and “The Babadook” in where a young boy finds a purpose in having to save the lives of his brother and sister when their babysitter happens to a pure psychopath with her own ulterior motives. Sarah Bolgier is fantastic as young Anna, a replacement babysitter who takes over for the usual nanny of a very average and unsuspecting family. The brood she has to look over isn’t particularly interesting or special, and while Anna does look very harmless at first sight.

But soon she eventually begins to reveal something of a reptilian personality as she becomes more and more unhinged with every passing hour. Bolgier is wonderful at maintaining the uneasy smile that she wears throughout the film, as she learns a lot about the trio of children she’s watching, and begins devising her own plans for them that become increasingly disturbing. Thelin relies on mounting tension and pure suspense to bait the audience and keep them watching until the climax. We’re never quite sure what is happening with young Anna, and why she’s so aloof when the kids begin destroying the house, but it does lead in to something that’s so inherently demented and insane.

Thelin touches in to certain taboos exploring how utterly off the wall bonkers Anna tends to be, first seducing young Jacob in an incredibly uncomfortable bathroom scene. Just when you think Thelin can’t top that cringe inducing sequence, he just continues ratcheting up the gross out factor with one more disturbing sequence after another. While it may seem at first glance the shocks are there mainly to keep us squirming, a lot of the actions Anna takes really reflect her lack of sanity, and how far off the deep end she is. “Emelie” is a surefire slow boil thriller that culminates in to a very satisfying explosion that acts as a word of warning to parents on taking second and even third glances at who is caring for your children.

Featured on the Blu-Ray, there’s the thirteen minute “Making Of,” which features interviews with director Thelin, and writer Herbeck, along with the cast and the film’s producers. There’s the film’s original trailer clocking in at two minutes, and finally additional trailers, which aren’t really special features, but should give you an idea of other releases from the company.

My Top Five Favorite Fictional Babysitters

Posted on June 20, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

With the remake of “Adventures in Babysitting” coming to Disney Channel on Friday, I thought I’d go over some of my favorite babysitters from pop culture. I went through a ton of potentials, including the ladies from “The Babysitters Club,” but I admittedly never read any of the books, so this is more cinematic babysitters. Some of these are babysitters I wish I had as child. It would have made staying home so much easier.

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Hank Boyd Is Dead (2015)

Posted on June 15, 2016 by Emilie Black

Accused murdered Hank Boyd has died and his mother wants him remembered with a funeral and gathering at the family home. Sarah is hired to work this gathering for the local catering company. As the hours pass, the Boyd family grows stranger and stranger and Sarah must fight for her life.

Written and directed by Sean Melia for whom this is a first full length feature film, the story seems simple at first: A child murderer has died in a small town and his family is trying to keep a minimum of respect for him at his funeral. However, as more and more is discovered about the Boyd family, the more twisted the story becomes. It isn’t only about Sarah’s survival among this family but also about how crazy can one family really be. The story is fairly well written and unfolds at a good pace, never losing the viewer’s attention but also not exactly feeling like it’s doing anything new with the crazy family aspect.

The acting is decent from the leads and supporting cast. Standouts are Carole Monferdini as the aging and slowly losing it clan matriarch, Beverly Boyd, who alternates between sweet old lady and crazy violent bitch. Her performance is nuanced with a touch of bat shit insane. The other standout if Stefanie E. Frame as Sarah Walsh, the outsider who becomes captive and fights for her life. She shows a range of emotions from boredom to stunned surprise to desperation which adds to the viewers’ care for her character.

Hank Boyd Is Dead is a violent film but there is no gore and very little blood, the horror here is more psychological in nature. Yes, there is violence, but what is meant to shock is the story, the characters’ backgrounds, and the family dynamics, not the physical damage made to others (except in a couple of scenes). That being said, it is a violent film with some disturbing aspects, however for a more jaded audience, it’s not quite enough to have much of an effect.

The film has good performances in general, a fairly good story, decent dialogue, but nothing is really shocking or new. At 76 minutes, it’s a fairly short feature which allows it to not overstay its welcome. The twists are interesting but will be predictable to some. Nonetheless, the film is entertaining while not breaking any new ground in the crazy family with major issues horrific drama sub-genre.