The American Scream (2012)

The common Christian stereotype is that Halloween is almost always celebrated by Pagans and Satanists, as well as people with a demented sense of reality. What the director of “The American Scream” Michael Stephenson accomplishes, is destroying such an antiquated cliche and explores a world of folks who adore Halloween and are just working class individuals looking for an escape from their lives. “The American Scream” has an undercurrent of sadness to it where the happiness and smiles are really seeking to cover the heart ache and desperation behind the subjects who treat Halloween like an event every single year. I’m proud to be one of those people who anticipate the month of October right around the beginning of August, and these folks featured aren’t so different.

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The Day (2012)

The-Day-2012-backgroundFor fans of post apocalyptic cinema who love their fiction with subtext and undertones of society and class warfare, you’d probably want to look elsewhere for your brain food. Goodness knows I loves my apocalyptic fiction, but “The Day” is purely apocalypse porn with an artsy gloss added to it for good measure. Director Doug Aarniokoski tries to conceal the fact that this movie is basically a clumsy and one-dimensional action film by lensing the entire film through a black and white filter that saps the color, and directing almost every shot with a hand held camera. Someone at Anchor Bay or WWE studios loves John Carpenter’s “Assault on Precinct 13” because 2012’s “The Day” is basically an end of the world version of it.

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Apocalypse of the Dead (2009)

I don’t know why indie filmmakers are still under the delusion that referencing horror maestros in some form during your film is clever or cute. Granted, it worked to some effect in “Night of the Creeps,” and in a slight degree in “Final Destination,” but now every indie filmmaker who drudges up a zombie movie feels the need to reference George Romero or Tom Savini in some way. There is actually a character off-screen named Agent Savini. Come on, quit it. I’m surprised there wasn’t a Romero hospital by Fulci street and Nicotero Lane. Hey, that’s going in my screenplay! “Apocalypse of the Dead” basically combines “Assault on Precinct 13” with “Dawn of the Dead” and completely throws the shit in the fan.

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Zombie Town (2007)

Someone, somewhere thought it’d be a good idea. Whether it was the choice of the filmmakers, the producers, or the distributor, someone thought it’d be a good idea to title this zombie flick “Night of the Creeps 2: Zombie Town.” I guess someone thought since this is a zombie film revolving around parasitic slugs that create the walking dead, therefore it should be considered a sequel.

Maybe someone loved the Fred Dekker cult classic and thought this would eventually be considered a sequel if they branded it as such. In any case, “Zombie Town” is about as much of a sequel to “Night of the Creeps” as those awful Taurus Entertainment sequels “Creepshow III” and “Day of the Dead: Contagium” are to their respective classic films.

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Underworld: Awakening (2012)

wq5g1416291What cruel irony that the latest subtitle for the mediocre “Underworld” series is called “Awakening” since for the most part I found myself incapable of staying awake through the majority of it. If you’re looking for a cure for insomnia and don’t want medication, put on “Underworld: Awakening” and you’ll definitely be out like a light within ten minutes. After writing off the series and expanding her horizons, Kate Beckinsale comes crawling back to her husband’s film series that made her a star and reprises the role of Selene. Still one of the most one-dimensional and cardboard action heroines of contemporary genre cinema, Selene is back yet again this time on the run from pretty much everyone. After years of the war between the vampires and the lycans (ugh), the human race has finally caught on.

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Primal (2010)

primal11You would think a survivalist horror film about a group of campers fighting off monsters born from stagnant infected lake water would be material for a gripping and intense horror film. But you’d be wrong. In fact, most of “Primal” is quite tedious and rote. I wanted to be choked with tension throughout most of “Primal” and just found myself basically yawning and zoning out for the most part. I wish I could attribute it to being high, but I’m not one to get high. In either case, “Primal” is pretty derivative of Bava’s “Demons,” where anyone who ingests the tainted water find themselves transforming in to demonic beings in an instant.

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The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

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We’ve all seen it so many times that I kind of get angry when a filmmaker sends me their latest horror opus and it’s comprised of the same premise. A bunch of teenagers have commandeered a cabin in the woods for the weekend, and decide that they want to get away for a few days of beer drinking and misdeeds of the sexual nature. While there they discover that the cabin houses a bunch of secrets that could be their undoing. And it’s all being manipulated by a secret government lab hidden underneath the cabin, manipulating every single moment of their weekend like a game of chess. Ah, but that’s not the whole story.

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