Ah that Dracula sure does get around, doesn’t he? He’s met more historical figures than Forrest Gump. In the grand tradition of “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula,” “Emmanuelle vs. Dracula” and “Batman vs. Dracula” comes the lost adventure of two of the world’s most notorious criminals and their confrontation with the lord of darkness. Timothy Friend’s horror crime thriller is in the hokey tradition of absurd battles and there hasn’t been one more absurd since Bonnie and Clyde’s meeting with the undead. Tiffany Shepis stars as Bonnie along Trent Haaga as Clyde in their efforts to thwart off rival criminals and the lawman as they travel across the country. Now down on their luck after a series of unfortunate events leave them penniless and without a car, they meet up with an old friend promising them a big job robbing a local bank.
Tag Archives: Horror
Transylvania Twist (1989)
Along with being one of my earlier horror movie memories, Jim Wynorski’s “Transylvania Twist” also happens to be one of the earlier horror movie satires that predates “Scary Movie” by almost ten years. It lampoons the slashers of the eighties, it tackles horror movie clichés to a fine art, and even props a few music videos here and there. A mix of “Kentucky Fried Movie,” some “Monty Python,” and a dash of “Young Frankenstein,” Wynorski’s “Transylvania Twist” is an admirable and often giggle inducing attempt at spoofing the entire horror genre and the fads of the mid to late eighties by staging some raucous old fashioned television commercials (with a horror twist of course), while also positing its own plot line in the process. After a hilarious prologue involving a hapless busty traveler and three demented slasher icons getting more than they bargained for, we meet Dexter Ward, a young man who visits his dead uncle at his funeral and is shocked to discover his uncle has yet to kick the bucket.
Vamp (1986)
As a kid, I spent my time around many adults who used to rent videos from my neighborhood video stores. And often times they’d have viewing parties where they’d all hunker down, pop in one video after another and experience whatever title they took a chance on renting sight unseen. And as a child born in 1983 I spent a lot of my time watching with them. As such “Vamp” from 1986 is one of the earliest memories of a movie that continues lingering in my mind to this day. The climax of our protagonists escaping from the vampires in the sewer attempting to reach daylight has been etched in to my brain along with the lowering platform finale of “Day of the Dead.”
Swamp Thing (1982)
I’ve read the comic books, collected the action figures, watched the animated series, seen the television show, and even watched the horrible sequel a thousand times. But up until now the original “Swamp Thing” has eluded me. Even when I had the world wide web at my disposal, the original Wes Craven directed “Swamp Thing” has been an oddity that has escaped the clutches from my grasp. Watching it finally after so many years of sitting through the sequel, I learned a lot. Mainly: Sometimes the most elusive movies can be just as awful as you think. All these years seeking out “Swamp Thing” admittedly set me up for failure, especially considering I’ve never heard anything but a lukewarm response from anyone when discussing “Swamp Thing.”
Species: The Awakening (2007)
We’re told in the first two “Species” movies that once the alien/human being begins to mature in to a woman of sexual charisma, she becomes a predatory monster. She wants to and has to pro-create. We’re also told in the sequel that the male has also the urge to breed and pro-create. So why our protagonist Miranda has no idea she’s part human and part alien until she’s told, is a major plot hole. This is of course only one part of the bigger problem in “Species: The Awakening” the final part in the “Species” series that continues to drive the film franchise from Hollywood fodder to DVD to fodder. Did no one noticed Miranda went from a child to an adult female in a day? Did she never figure out that she wasn’t given a teenage life by the lack of pictures? Why didn’t she ever ask questions about her parents?
Species II (1998)
I never actually understood the appeal of the first two “Species” film. The first film basically piggybacked on the revelation of sex bomb shell Natash Henstridge who incidentally ended up being a one note actress, and then the series inevitably fizzled out in to obscurity. Natasha Henstridge looks about as incredible as ever, and as Eve she presents a surprisingly significant change in personality and demeanor. This is a new shade of the monster where as Sil was much more “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” based around its predatorial habits, Eve is The Creature in “The Creature Walks Among Us,” still vicious but much more vulnerable and open to humanity, for better or for worse. It’s easy to buy that Sil and Eve are different entities, and Henstridge carries this career making role well and looks dynamite with shorter hair.
Species (1995)
Let’s face it, the only reason why “Species” was remotely a financial success was because of Natasha Henstridge. The newcomer not only radiates on-screen but her searing sexuality and ability to look incredible no matter what position or what kind of gelatinous goo she’s covered in outweighs any quality of the film. Sure, the fans can attempt to argue the film’s merits by claiming my own reasoning faulty, but let’s cut the crap here. “Species” was a hit because it offered up two key elements. It had a gorgeous woman was a decent actress, and had an iconic moment of 1995 where the predatory Sil proceeds to bust the backs of heads off of a few unlucky guys who don’t meet her standard for mating.