Okay, so last month, I finally saw “London.” I mean, I’d heard from folks that it was an awful and grueling movie to sit through, but sometimes you just have to experience it. There’s something in us that, even though we’re told being stung by a bee hurts, inspires us to seek out that bee and have that experience. It was the same thing with “London.” People were talking endlessly about this film that was utterly awful, and yet I sought it out. And it still stings. Suffice it to say, “London” was an awful and dreadful relationship drama that sought out to be such an edgy glance at romance between two fuck-ups.
Tag Archives: Romance
Switchblade Sisters (1975)
All these years I was pretty sure that there’d never be another gangster movie that equaled “The Warriors” in terms of pure atmosphere and grit. And then I saw “Switchblade Sisters.” Sure, it’s not as good as “The Warriors,” but it makes a damn good argument of equaling it in quality. “Switchblade Sisters” is a hard film to dislike. I’m not going to claim it’s the perfect gangster movie, but watching a bunch of tough broads fighting off prison wardens is still as exciting as watching The Warriors battle The Lizzies. It’s past its time, sure, but it’s also aged pretty damn well. The gung-ho corniness, colorful characters, and unflinching bad-ass attitude are just so damn entertaining, and Hill is never apologetic about displaying this film as a fantasy, that’s also acceptably outlandish.
Shrek 2 (2004)
The question always is: was there really a need for a sequel? The answer is no, but when there’s money to be made, Hollywood will do anything to make sure there’s another film no matter how pointless, or awful if it’s mildly successful. I liked “Shrek”, I thought it was a one of a kind animated comedy that was actually funny. Then I watched “Shrek 2” and was appropriately disappointed. I went in to this movie with a lot of optimism because I liked the original film so much, but this was just a lagging effort, and it becomes painfully clear within thirty minutes in this movie that the producers and all the stars got big fat pay raises to come back for this.
Undiscovered (2005)
So by the logic present here, if you take a picture with a huge star, you will, in effect, become one yourself. Wondering what the hell this movie is? You’re not alone. It’s not a big coincidence “Undiscovered” has been undiscovered by almost every movie goer in America. It’s a piece of crap. Pure and simple. I mean, can you really expect quality from a film that’s relied on a steady campaign of “It stars Ashlee Simpson” to get the word out about the production? Yes, “Undiscovered” is a horrible movie, and for many reasons. But one of the reasons is that it’s so utterly insulting, even as a fairytale of stardom.
Aquamarine (2006)
It’s hard to really deny that Jojo and Emma Roberts have an interesting chemistry. Had the writers chosen to make “Aquamarine” a down to Earth glimpse at friendship with a mermaid, and turned away from the sickening fluff, there could have been something very emotional and clutching. But in the end, it’s really just a typical on-screen friendship. The girls are bubbly, and boring, and Roberts is your typical geeky character, etc. There’s one interesting sequence in which the two argue and bring about issues that are never confronted in the film. And I sat there wondering why the hell this was never brought up with a lengthier and complex scope. For a film that claims to be about friendship, it’s sad we didn’t see more of the depth available with the two main characters here. Jojo and Roberts’ chemistry is charming to watch, and I didn’t despise watching them yammer back and forth. Meanwhile, I could have done with more scenes featuring Arielle Kebbel as the obligatory bitchy character because… well, Kebbel is gorgeous. Need I say more?
Sidekick (2005)
I’ve been a comic book fan since I was a very small kid. Before I could read they were great to look at, and I’d have someone tell me their names, when I learned to read they were fun to dive into, even if I didn’t always understand the stories. When I became older, they were fun to read because the stories were so damn good depending on what comic you read, and when I became a man, I learned subtext, commentary, and undertones for the better, and I sought out deeper material. Either way, comic book fandom is a hobby that evolves over time, and de Graaf has the right idea of the love for comic books. There have been many an homage to the Superhero genre, but “Sidekick” is a completely different one altogether.
The New World (2005)
The story of Pocahontas just isn’t interesting. There’s nothing about this pseudo-historical tale about a young woman who became civilized that attracts it to me. With “The New World,” there’s no new angle presented to the audience, no new exploration of other characters, and the soapy drippy romance is still present and accounted for. “The New World” just didn’t live up to the hype that preceded it, and that’s because Malick anxiously looks for a new method of telling this yarn and pretty much never achieves his goals in that respect from the get go.