While scouring reviews for “Nightmare,” I read a comment online that suggested the reason why Samuel Bayer’s absolutely lethargic lazy remake of the horror classic is so bad is because he wasn’t recruited by Platinum Dunes to re-imagine this world, but to simply lens it for them. And that’s an apt observation when you’ve managed to sit down and actually watch Platinum Dunes latest cinematic slap to the face of movie goers and horror lovers everywhere. “A Nightmare on Elm Street” 2010 is possibly one of the worst remakes of all time, it’s a lazy, unimaginative, nonsensical, and absolutely tedious piece of hogwash that doesn’t try to do anything new with the material before it, nor does it re- invent much, but instead merely goes through the motions as a routine horror affair focused on squeezing in as much shocks as possible and moving on to the next scene.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2011)
Fans of the zombie sub-genre are ensconced in the walking dead these days as Hollywood and filmmakers all over the world in every corner have found taking to the living dead to be a source of creativity and an unlimited audience who want to see who can take the belt from Romero. “Rammbock” has an hour long to tell multiple stories and screenwriter Benjamin Kressler is up to the challenge staging the end of the world in modern Germany at the hands of raging infectious monsters, all of whom have a taste for blood and are relentless.
Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island (1998)
When it comes to hardcore well versed Scooby Doo Fans… we’re not one of them. But for a brief (oh so brief) period in the late nineties, Hanna Barbera thought it’d be a good idea before the live action movie to feature the Scoobies solving actual paranormal cases that they presumed were originally just scams and con jobs. “Zombie Island” is one of the best (and few) examples of Scooby-Doo done well and correctly with a case the entire gang gets in on that is creepy and actually risks their lives, in the end. With animation I’m never above being experimental, and my faith in “Zombie Island” was rewarded with a wicked and creepy little yarn about the Mystery Machine group re-uniting after a long stretch on their own.
Wolf (1994)
In 2000, the Canadian low budget horror movie entitled “Ginger Snaps” was a bonafide metaphor for coming of age and a girl getting her period. Expanding on Red Riding Hood, “Ginger Snaps” was a full on series of metaphors about a young girl blossoming in to adult hood with lycanthropy acting as a symbol for her becoming a predatory sexual being that was brought out from her wolf-like tendencies after surviving a mauling from a vicious werewolf. 1994’s “Wolf” however is a tongue in cheek social commentary that examines almost the same themes except acts as a metaphor for male dominance in a youth obsessed consuming society.
Long Pigs (2007)
At first glance of “Long Pigs” and screen captures, many movie goers will be quick to dismiss Chris Power and Nathan Hyne’s mock documentary as merely a low budget film attempting to shock us in to submission and while in many ways “Long Pigs” is a gruesome and shocking film, “Long Pigs” also has a sense of sardonic humor and intelligence to it that makes it much more than just a movie about a cannibal and his fixation on the fine art of grooming human corpses to be eaten for his cooked delicacies. The directors behind this clearly were influenced by the likes of the classic film “Man Bites Dog” about a documentary crew anxiously trying to get in to the mind of a criminal who get too close for comfort, and “Long Pigs” is very influenced by that title engaging in a long moral and social breakdown of the greatest of taboos: cannibalism, and what repercussions they have in today’s society.
Second Coming (2008)
I honestly don’t even feel good calling this a horror movie, but I guess at the end of the day it is. “Second Coming” is a movie I’d looked forward to watching since I received it and I’m saddened that it didn’t meet my expectations at all. In fact it’s so far below my expectations I was pretty crushed to finish it. “Second Coming” could very well be an engrossing supernatural crime thriller, but in the end it’s really just a glorified television melodrama with a supernatural angle that doesn’t even make good on its tagline of a revenge tale.
Amer (2009)
Visually and viscerally, “Amer” is a film that is a throwback to the classic Giallo thrillers, but deep down it is much more of an academic breakdown of the Giallo sub-genre and not so much a straight forward giallo film. True it has shades of the visual flourishes with uses of color and specific dashes of sharp editing that suck us in to the narrative, all the while invoking memories of “Suspiria” and “Tenebre” upon which both directors call on to create something of an evocative sexual thriller, in the end. “Amer” is admittedly an exhausting film and that counts as a criticism and a recommendation.