Cinema Crazed's Top 10 of 2012

2012 was filled with so many surprises, and it’s a year we may be talking about for a while. The big screen adaptation of “21 Jump Street” we were convinced would be pure swill ended up being the funniest comedy in the last few years. Ridley Scott’s return to science fiction “Prometheus” which we were sure would be an epic masterpiece ended up being sub-par genre fare that didn’t exactly re-invent the wheel in spite of causing a rift between genre fans who either loved it or hated it. However, the comedy movie about a foul mouthed talking teddy bear pretty much met our rock bottom expectations. Disney and Marvel Studios took a gamble on a movie that assembled a group of superheroes from film franchises of varying success entrusting the task to a director and storyteller primarily beloved by cult fans, and ended up conquering the box-office, and the world.

Disney’s gamble on another fantasy film entitled “John Carter” also made history as one of the biggest flops in movie history. A movie based on a board game was crucified by movie fans all over the world, while the director of “The Avengers” made waves with his cult horror comedy “The Cabin in the Woods.” Quentin Tarantino introduced one of the rare African American Western heroes to mainstream cinema,  and The Dark Knight made his return to the screen unfortunately being forever linked to a horrific killing spree inflicted by a heartless monster, prompting Hollywood to re-think their stance on film violence causing an uproar among movie buffs. 2012 was a rather eventful year in the world of cinema and storytelling, and without further ado we introduce our Top 10 and Worst 10 Films of 2012.

Be sure to send us your own Top 10 and Worst 10 of 2012! We can likely begin a conversation that’s human and polite.

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Cheeky! (Trasgredire) (2000) [Blu-Ray]

Dear lord is Yuliya Mayarchuk a goddess. A being of sexual ferocity, she’s emanates sensual daring, and innocence that make her the perfect woman to head up this rather entertaining sex dramedy. Every director seems to have a fixation on some part of a woman’s body, particularly directors of erotica. Director Tinto Brass places great emphases on the woman’s behind, often preferring to show the woman’s cleverly framed rump beyond all else.

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Naughty Teen (Cara Dolce Nipote) (1977) (DVD)

NT-DVDIt’s clear that when One 7 Movies boasts that “Naughty Teen” is a rare sex comedy that many haven’t seen, they mean business. The cover for the film makes “Naughty Teen” look much more gritty than it actually is, and the women on the cover definitely isn’t star Ursula Heinle. Beyond that, the film is generally flawed with some skips in the footage, and both corners of the picture blurred, obviously to distort a television logo or crawler of some kind. Thankfully it’s not a distracting aspect of the picture, and is mostly insignificant if you focus on the film.

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Sex Hunter: Wet Target (Sekkusu hantâ: Nureta hyôteki) (1972) (DVD)

sex-hunter-wet-targetI was very disappointed to see the back of the DVD case for “Sex Hunter” compare this short Roman Porno to “Thriller: A Cruel Picture.” It’s very misleading to pair one of the greatest grindhouse revenge thrillers ever made to “Sex Hunter.” It’s an hour long endurance test in tedium and finishes with a climax that is both abrupt and incredibly unsatisfying. Granted, there’s not much to expect in the way of characters and action from a movie barely clocking in at seventy minutes, but a little blood shed wouldn’t have hurt.

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Playboy: The Nude Marilyn [Magazine]

The most iconic and groundbreaking erotic magazine for men in the world, has sought out to celebrate another icon: The one and only Marilyn Monroe. Celebrating the 50th anniversary of the starlet’s unfortunate death, Playboy Magazine has dug in to millions of their archival photos in their database and has shared with fans an exclusive spread of Monroe’s nude shots, some of which have never been seen before. One can only imagine what continues to keep the world enticed and allured by Marilyn Monroe, and why, in spite of her tragic life and terrible end, young female starlets and actresses alike continue to emulate and worship the woman. Monroe was clearly in a league of her own, a bombshell of a beauty who defined sexuality and approached all forms of sexual appeal without batting an eye. She was sensual but humble, daring but innocent, vivacious but modest, and gave a smile that many modern female stars simply can not duplicate. Mostly though, she was an angel without wings.

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Arena (1989)

Charles Band’s “Arena” is a blast. And for a movie with such a small budget that is dated beyond belief, that’s quite an endorsement. There’s something about the imagination and creativity behind “Arena” that makes it such a treat to sit through. It’s such a simple and straight forward science fiction action film that it doesn’t even try for anything complicated or adult. If there’s ever a film that could use the remake treatment and become a fantastic action genre picture it’s this 1989 film from director Charles Band that sets down on an intergalactic wasteland where aliens do battle in a ring for sport and money amidst crowds of onlookers and fanatics.

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Rise of the Guardians (2012)

Such a simple premise should have delivered a bland and somewhat forgettable animated film, but what Dreamworks manages to pull together is not only impressive, but surely one of the best films of 2012. “Rise of the Guardians” is a testament to the magic of folklore and the strength of belief. Though it’s not an outright declaration of theism, “Rise of the Guardians” places a lot of power on the strength of belief on sentient beings and what they can do for those that place importance in them. “Rise of the Guardians” is a film that all audiences will truly enjoy that manages to unite some of the most iconic magical beings to form the ultimate super team.

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