Full Moon Friday: William Shatner's Full Moon Fright Night (DVD)

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Ah two of my favorite things: Full Moon films, and William Shatner’s over the top comedy shtick that no one finds funny but him. You have to love “Full Moon Fright Night,” the 2002 television series that originally aired on the Scifi Channel in America and lasted about eight or nine episodes is finally here to collect on DVD for rabid collectors of Full Moon Fright Flicks, and what collection it is. For the first boxed set we’re given “The Vampire Journals,” “Head of the family,” and “Hideous!” all to the tune of William Shatner and a monster butler bringing us the frights in only the best manner possible a la Joe Bob Briggs.

Shatner isn’t exactly known for advertent comedy so it’s a treat to see him genuinely chewing scenery for these productions while introducing us to Full Moon movies that are quite terrible. Episode one brings us to the foot steps of “Vampire Journals” is very much in the tradition of “Subspecies” as an existential chronicle of a young man who staves off blood lust and pain in Europe as a vampire and charts his existence day by day including facts about his fellow vampires and what occurs in the life of such a being. Shatner occasionally interrupts to bring us a commercial break, but the films remain generally untarnished to the breaks offering their own Full Moon magic that make them terrible to the average movie goer but entertaining to any Full Moon buff.

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I Hate Anime!

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I hate Anime. I know. I often get looks of shock and awe from people who know me and know I’m a complete pop culture junky but I hate Anime. I hate it in every incarnation and rarely do I ever approve of it. Liking anime is akin to having a tattoo. You grab the most obscure and edgy design imaginable only to discover your next door neighbor who happens to collect potato chips in the shape of Jesus has one and suddenly you realize you’re not really as ahead of the game as you think, and that’s just where anime fans and the anime trend finds itself. Anime fans always pretend they’re ahead of everyone else as if they’re on to something other people aren’t, when in fact all of mainstream has embraced anime as the norm and is transforming every single property it can in to anime from “Spider-Man” to “Cloverfield.” It’s not hip, and the ones that actually are obscure are much too disturbing for anyone to actually indulge in.

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Zookeeper (2011)

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It seems like ever since the death of Chris Farley there almost has to be a slot open for a funny fat man who bumbles and stumbles. Except Farley wasn’t just a fat man, he was much more than obesity. He had actual comic timing and every person since his death to take up the mantle has sine failed to replace him. Take one Kevin James, a man who fails at even holding Farley’s shoes but has sought out to be the current funny fat guy since his introduction in “Everybody Loves Raymond.” And since then he’s failed to hold a candle to the cliché fat guy comedy mold that has garnered him massive success because he is just so utterly one note and uncharismatic.

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Conan O'Brien Can't Stop (2011)

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t052311_cobcs_film_0During one point in the half concert film half documentary “Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop,” the interviewer asks Conan if it’s possible for him to have fun without an audience. And if you watch the movie you’ll see why he looks on in response baffled and without speech. Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop has never been such a literal title as it describes the essence of Conan O’Brien who is a man that is desperate to perform. It’s an all consuming urge within Conan to perform and be on the stage so much to where he puts his family life at jeopardy.

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Horrible Bosses (2011)

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horrible_bosses2“Horrible Bosses” has an interesting premise. It’s about three men, all with three variously demented and wicked bosses, who decide one night to murder them each. Do they dare live out the American Dream? But within the good intentions and sharp casting (Colin Farrell with a comb over is hysterical, nevertheless) lies a fairly unpleasant movie that tries to be about as outrageous as your humdrum Farrelly Brothers film and fails to even remotely funny or laugh inducing. Three men with three different bosses decide enough is enough begin planning, with the help of a hit man, their untimely demises.

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The Depression of Detective Downs 2: On Depression's Edge (2011)

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dtectivedowns2How do you stop the city’s most insane criminals when you yourself are on the brink of insanity? Who do the heroes turn to when they’re about to lose their minds? That’s the questions asked during the sequel to “The Depression of Detective Downs” a wonderful closer to an already great saga about Detective Rolando Downs, a well meaning detective who is so at odds with life that all he can do is watch the days fade away all the while witness his luck turn sour with every passing moment.

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Bad Teacher (2011)

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bad-teacher-filmAssholes are just a part of life. They’re there when we wake up and they’re there when we go to sleep, the only consolation we can take in this revelation is that they’ll likely never learn their lessons and will continue being assholes until the day they die. That’s the moral behind “Bad Teacher,” a veritable “Bad Santa” clone that takes a misanthropic bombshell and plants her in the middle of All American suburbia where she’s forced to interact with kids and positive role models on a daily basis when she seeks only to gratify her own base needs and nothing more.

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