Assault Girls [Asaruto gâruzu] (2009)

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Wow, so Zack Snyder got the idea for “Sucker Punch” from “Assault Girls.” Interesting. Watching 2009’s “Assault Girls,” it was tough not to compile that thought, considering this film and Snyder’s upcoming film all involve gorgeous women having adventures in their imagination to stave off suffering in their own reality, all the while they’re instilled with their own individual personas as applied to their personalities that reflect their powers and weapons during battle. The only difference is, “Assault Girls” chronicles this imagination through a virtual reality system called Avalon that allows the women (whom we never see in actual origin) to become warriors. With “Sucker Punch,” it’ll be based more around fantasies and delusions.

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Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)

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sst-poster1I really don’t care that Ed Neumeier is behind this. I applaud his history with science fiction cinema and Robocop, but as a sequel and standalone film “Starship Troopers 3” is a terrible film. The satire I can often stomach since it was so much apart of the original film, but the fact that the satire is much too obvious to even call it respectable satire is just much too clumsy at times. “Marauder” is that film in the series many fans were anxious to watch mainly because it’s much more loyal to the novel, but that doesn’t entirely promise entertainment.

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Aliens, Abductions & Extraordinary Sightings: A Paranormal Documentary Collection (DVD)

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“There’s twelve hours of this?” I asked myself while watching what I can only assume are a series of completely disconnected featurettes and “documentaries” about UFO’s and abductions, all of which are about as half baked as I expected them to be.

When I put these DVD’s in my player, I almost expected documentaries in the vein of the 90’s television show “Sightings,” but in reality this is just a compilation of various documentaries and television specials that discuss UFO’s and don’t really try to decipher anything regarding the anomaly of UFOlogy. Unless you’re a die hard fan of this sort of phenomenon and want to soak in twelve hours of documentaries and specials, there really won’t be much to lure audiences in, in the end.

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The Untamed Tura: A Tribute

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“One of the things that I always said, and it was one of my father’s favorite sayings, ‘Always be good to the people on the way up, because you’re going to meet them on the way down.’ I have always lived by that philosophy. The one thing you’ve got to remember is that you just never accept defeat. Remember to never let life get you down, because there is always something new to learn tomorrow. Life is to be lived, and lived well.” – Tura Satana

Earlier this year, Cinema Crazed had the privilege to read Author Shade Rupe’s compendium of interviews entitled “Dark Stars Rising.” It’s a lengthy tome comprised of unedited uncut interviews with some of the biggest and not so biggest cult icons in history, all of whom were fairly deserving of their own lengthy tome. Among the interviews in the book, one of the interviews was from Ms. Tura Satana. Of course, since “Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!” is one of our favorite cult films ever made, and undoubtedly one of our favorite films of all time, Satana’s interview was the first we turned to.

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Jurassic Park III (2001)

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The third film in the “Jurassic Park” series before the development purgatory and inevitable reboot is quite the different animal. Steven Spielberg is no longer behind the camera, only one of the original cast members returns for a fan service supporting performance, new flashier dinosaurs are added to attract gimmicky crowds, and the film is noticeably shorter than its former siblings. Dr. Alan Grant sticks to the Spielbergian archetypes. He’s still Indiana Jones sans the sour disposition, and he’s divorced from his wife Ellie.

Obviously, this is due to contractual obligations, but it adds an obvious turn in the usual Spielberg films where most at war couples never quite make it, no matter how successful they are in their journeys. Joe Johnston directs what is easily the worst leg in the series, a movie so lagging and lethargic it’s almost impossible to fully soak in the conundrum these characters face.

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park

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the_lost_world“The Lost World” is one of the very few movies I’ve seen more than once in theaters, and gladly it was a rich experience every time. “The Lost World” doesn’t hold up as well as the original film since the 1993 film ventured in to the realms of gene splicing, DNA research, and the philosophy of man vs. nature, and natural selection. When natural selection chooses to snuff out the most primal animals of nature, we stand no chance when they’ve been revived and refined with modern predators. “The Lost World” however is a much less sophisticated and much more raucous sequel.

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Jurassic Park (1993)

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Eighteen years ago, Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park” was nearly the movie of the decade. It was a film that sparked the imaginations of millions and garnered one of the more fascinating and exciting films of all time that re-defined CGI for the twentieth century and started a trend among filmmakers. “Jurassic Park” remains one of the most memorable movie going experiences of my life, and paved the way for Spielberg as my favorite filmmaker of all time, and it fueled my interest in dinosaurs. The sight of the halos of water still sends chills up my spine. As a plot device it’s one of most simplistic yet ingenious signs of doom ever created, and as a calling card for the infamous T-Rex, it’s still damn effective.

But is it still dynamic eighteen years later?

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