At this point in his career, I think I’d pay to see Clive Owen introduce host an episode of “The Price is Right,” only because god damn the man is just so freaking talented. I’m a huge fan of Owen, and starring in a Spike Lee joint was no exception to seeking him out. The guy could say Superman was gay, and I’d sit there in awe at his delivery. My disdain for about ninety-percent of Spike Lee’s films not withstanding, “Inside Man” was a film I intended to watch. And happily, I wasn’t disappointed. Almost like Vietnam flashbacks coming back to me, “Inside Man” reminded me of one of my favorite thrillers “The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.”
Material Girls (2006)
If I could have a wish for Christmas, it’d be to take Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, anyone from “American Idol,” and the Duff Sisters, strap them into a bus, drive it off a cliff, and then shit on the charred remains. “Material Girls” is proof that you don’t need brains, talent, or appeal to have a considerable hit film. You just need connections, the right marketing, and a great idea of your niche audience. Fans of the Duffs finally have a film to look forward to while they’re doing their nails and staring off into space. The Duffs aren’t the Barrymores, that’s obvious.
The City of Violence (Jjakpae) (2006)
Imagine “Stand By Me,” combined with “Four Brothers,” and a hint of “The Warriors,” and what you’ll get is “City of Violence,” a stunning send-up of seventies actioners that makes no bones about its attitude. It doesn’t take itself seriously, and its never too sentimental, but the relationships are felt, and that invokes enough incentive to care about the characters involved in the plot. Ryoo’s action thriller is a fantastic piece of Korean cinema that combines themes of friendship, betrayal, and family into a beautiful piece of gangster action. Tae-Su, an officer, emerges back into his home town after his best friend Wang Jae is killed in a back alley.
Hell, while We're Re-Sequelizing
Art by Trevor Gentry Birnbaum
Masters of Horror: Pelts
I am not one who is all about the gore. Granted, I loves me some blood splatter, and I’m not opposed to torture, but I also like it when it’s accompanied by a story, or at least engaging characters. “Pelts” essentially doesn’t have compelling characters, but the story is entertaining. I was not a fan of Dario Argento’s prior effort, “Jenifer.” I thought it was bland, Stephen Weber’s performance was cartoonish, and the climax was brutally predictable. “Pelts” is a step up in the gore department, and in the plot. It takes the concepts of furs turning against the people holding them, and never exhausts itself. “Pelts” pulls out all the stops, not only in the gore, but in the grueling scenes of self-mutilation, and it’s typical Argento. Meatloaf plays a vicious and rather slimy fur buyer who works his factory workers to the bone, and aspires for quality.
Watch Me (2006)
The recent craze of Asian horror inspired films has been one I’ve not been most accepting of, mostly because half of them aren’t very good to begin with. Some are dramas painted as horror (Dark Water), and some are just remade into horrible films (Pulse), but I’m always willing to watch a horror film inspired by the trend and see if it lands on its feet or falls flat and breaks its neck. “Watch Me” has all the basic elements of an Asian horror film. Creepy ghost, mysterious object inspiring mysterious deaths, and of course a modern medium used as a facilitator.
Saw III (2006)
Well, it’s sad that a promising trilogy is now being announced as having almost five more installments added soon. Lions Gate has made no lies or double talk about this decision. The creators Whanel and Wan have proclaimed they’re dropping out of the further installments, but the studio and Tobin Bell are intent on continuing this franchise. Soon we’ll have “Saw: in Space”! Since the studio is intent on raping this series until it bleeds, “Saw III” is possibly the last good entry in an otherwise quality franchise.