“Ali G Indahouse” is a lot like that funny joke you told someone, and you kept telling it to people; and the more you told it, the less funny it got. That’s the sad thing here that Sasha Baron Cohen should have learned; sometimes you just can’t take a funny character and extend it into an hour and a half film because it’s very hard to muster up enough material for a large amount of time. It’s not that “Ali G Indahouse” is bad—well it’s bad—but it’s also unfunny, very unfunny. Not once did I laugh, not even with Martin Freeman from “The Office” co-starring, not once did I chuckle or guffaw, seriously this was so damn stupid and painfully obvious in its jokes.
The Rundown (2003)
There’s an ironic scene in the movie where the rock passes Arnold Schwarzenneger in a very brief cameo and he says “Have Fun”, a declaration in its own way poetic as the rock makes his way into the gallery and pantheon of action stars of the past with “The Rundown”. Dwayne Johnson can act, and here he plays reluctant superhero Beck, a free agent on the rundown of a fugitive in the Brazilian jungle who owes some people money. Travis, is a man whose father wants him back home to pay off his debts and Beck, tired of violence, gives him options on either going easily or roughly. Of course Beck chooses the latter, and now Beck must face off against a vicious mob boss who wants Travis to lead him to a priceless relic, and against the natural dangers of the jungle, and Travis who is less than submissive.
Peter Pan (2003)
The millionth adaptation of the iconic kids epic written by J.M. Barrie gets a more faithful, loyal, and perhaps a darker edgier tone this time with the contemporary version directed by P.J. Hogan of “Muriel’s Wedding” who gives incredible and stunning direction this time around providing very entertaining adventure fare for all ages. I love the story of Peter Pan, J.M. Barrie created a timeless allegory about the child in everyone, and how it’s always good to reconnect with the magic that made childhood so amazing, not to mention it’s a damn fun fairy tale. P.J. Hogan whose filmography consists mostly of low-key films creates an stunning landscape with Neverland that I haven’t seen in years.
Willard (2003)
“Willard” 2003 has a very Tim Burton motif that just didn’t work and with characters that were over the top, and a love interest that’s under-used, it’s not hard to believe there’s barely a story to see here, especially one that is just comprised of Willard seeking revenge on his enemies through the mice. There’s nothing but filler and mild violence that hardly displays the carnage of the mice who are supposed to be the devil incarnate, the devil in Willard, but nothing is accomplished except a lot of tricks involving rats. This time around, there’s a loon playing a loon, in this case Crispin Glover who is delightfully over the top as Willard himself.
Bulletproof Monk (2003)
I never read an issue of the actual comic this was based on, but judging by this often times ridiculous and stupid piece of popcorn numb skullery, the comic can’t be that good. This is the type of stuff that would appeal to a fourteen year old boy, the type of film that unfortunately plays more like a “Power Rangers” episode than an actual comic book movie with an awful fight sequence in the opening amidst a backdrop of a bad CGI forest in which Chow Yun Fat, our hero, and his master fight along a bridge as a young boy looks on. The young boy, by the way, is shown quite often, but disappears later on in the movie to play no role whatsoever, but I digress. This is one of those films with one of those odd realities in which everyone, everyone knows Kung Fu! Even the German soldier villains. I don’t know it. I can handle myself well, but I don’t know kung fu, but alas, if I lived in this reality I’d know it automatically. If only, eh?
The Remake Game
Is it a remake?
No. Studios won’t admit it’s a remake anymore. It’s a re-telling, a re-imagining, a re-visioning, a re-tread, a modernization, an interpretation, a redux, it’s the same story but set in a contemporary setting, it’s not a direct remake because it will be my interpretation (I’m talking to you Jonathan Demme!), it’s the same story but with different characters, and a different plot, and it takes place before the timeline, but after the sequel. What? When the fuck did creativity and originality become out of style? Can someone please give me the answer?
Studio execs will tell you, no it didn’t go out of style, there’s just a lack of creativity in Hollywood, well why isn’t it being-addressed? Obviously there is a lack of creativity, a disturbing and shocking lack of creativity, especially when studios won’t admit that their movie is a remake, yet make up pompous terms to hide what it really is. It’s a remake. And most of the time, it’s not a good one, and almost always is unnecessary.
My Life Without Me (2003)
This is a beautiful portrait and character study of life and death, and is pleasantly heavy with symbolism. It also observes one persons attempt at achieving personal goals she never could do, or have the guts to do in their life. The lovely Sarah Polley plays Ann, a workaday woman who is a janitor for a school and goes home to her trailer with her husband and two daughters living a mostly simple life with her overbearing mom and life she’s pretty comfortable with. One day during work she starts getting sick and goes to the hospital where her doctor tells her she has an inoperable tumor and is slowly dying. Somehow Ann seems prepared to face death and the concept of death here, and it doesn’t take much time for her to accept her death and that her daughters may grow up without a mother, thus she begins to really live life while she begins dying.