In the eighties, Hulk Hogan was a titan who stood tall in influence and adoration alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger. In the age of the cold car, Hogan is the hero America wanted. He was blond, large, charismatic, heroic, and garnered a handlebar mustache that made him look like a buff trucker fighting for the country. “No Holds Barred” perfectly demonstrates why Hogan was such a force in the sports world, with a charismatic performance in an otherwise goofy movie.
It dawned upon me watching the opening of “The Desolation of Smaug”: Did we really need the first movie? The entirety of the first film is so based on propping up storylines that “The Desolation of Smaug” wastes no time and drops in to the action. We could have just featured thirty minutes establishing the journey and cut to the opening scene. In “The Desolation of Smaug,” the writers provide a prologue where Gandalf meets Thorin in a pub and asks him to lead the journey. They proclaim they need a “burglar,” and cut to Bilbo Baggins in action. So, what was the point of the first movie? The opening shot of Bilbo hiding in the rocks with his allies speaks sounds more than the entire director’s cut of “An Unexpected Journey” could.
Let’s face it, the eighties were a grand time for the fantasy genre. Surely, comedy and horror had their days, but fantasy is what I mostly remember. As a kid my parents kept me from watching the more hardcore horror films until I was old enough to handle them, so most of the time I retreated to fantasy. They had distant lands, monsters, demons, and ghosts just the same. And often they were as violent as horror films were. My time spent watching movies were mainly spent with films from the 1980’s, and it’s no surprise that most of my fantasy favorites are from that fun decade. Here are five of my favorite fantasy films of the 80’s. And no, they haven’t aged a bit.
Oh Reb Brown, where would cinema be without you? Without Brown, we wouldn’t have had the 1979 Television movie “Captain America,” a movie so inept, it can’t even mimic Evel Knievel well. Brown is Steve Rogers for some reason, who came back from the war, and now drives around in a very kick ass van that also sports his favorite motorcycle. He’s a an ex-Marine/surfer/artist/motorcycle racer who also happens to be involved with a scientist developing a new formula for super strength (with the acronym F.L.A.G.), so while he’s helping develop a potentially groundbreaking formula for humanity, he is constantly moping around about the war and his lack of money. The sad fact is that the serum can only work for the Rogers blood line. Why? Because it’s a Captain America movie.
Another season of “The Walking Dead” has come and gone. Massive headlines, massive ratings, and the phenomenon keeps chugging along. With season four split in to three very brutal and effective story arcs, we break down the fourth year of the series, and explore ten of our most shocking moments of “The Walking Dead,” season four.
Is there such a thing as civility in the land of the dead? Will there ever be such a thing as civility and kindness and consideration? Do you really have to become a savage and evade all sense of morality to survive? Was Shane right? Was Shane prophetic? Would Shane have become Rick’s mentor in the apocalypse, eventually? One thing I loved about “A” beyond answering all questions, while still keeping us in the dark is that Rick finally comes to fruition as his comic book counterpart. One thing about Rick that’s always rung true in the comics is that Rick knows he’s a warrior, he knows he can survive if he thinks on his feet. What we see at the final scene of “A,” is that Rick finally knows the type of man he is. He knows he’s a warrior and he shalt not be fucked with. Most of all, don’t ever lay a hand on Carl.
What’s worse than a bad zombie movie? A bad zombie where the zombies are painfully easy to kill. How can you be terrified of zombies that can be killed by drum sticks and golf clubs? It’s also a lot of fun when the director can’t seem to decide if his zombies are shamblers or runners. Sometimes they run, sometimes they shamble around in a sleepy haze. Sometimes they bite relentlessly, but when lunging at our characters, they’re easier to fight than a toddler with a full diaper. Which is a shame, because nine times out of ten, the zombies look creepy as all hell, while director Logan McMillan manages to paint a pretty atmospheric apocalypse. For the first fifteen minutes, at least.