The Aggression Scale (2012)

Director Steven C. Miller is quickly becoming one of my favorite genre directors of late. Premiering with the solid zombie film “Automaton Transfusion,” his films seem to have a grit and guerilla style that often add a sense of urgency. His treatment of “Silent Night” skirted the edges of camp and slasher, while his latest “The Aggression Scale” is a definite step up. Though the film can sometimes show its low budget, director Miller makes great use of marvelous editing along with limited scenery to create an intense and absolutely excellent home invasion thriller.

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The Longest Daycare (2012)

The-Simpsons-Longest-DaycarBasically, “The Longest Daycare” is a much more advanced and intricate sequel to Maggie Simpson’s adventures in daycare that pays homage to Looney Tunes while also giving the character Maggie some depth. We only saw a portion of it in the episode “A Streetcar Named Marge,” where Maggie united her fellow babies to reclaim her pacifier in the spirit of “The Great Escape.”

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Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

I love the storytelling and directorial subtleties of Kathryn Bigelow in her concerted effort to explore the folly of war and violence in the name of patriotism. In the end of the film Maya stands in the belly of a massive jet that is ready to carry her home, and she’s lavished with praise by the pilot who insists she can sit anywhere. Maya sits at the very end of the massive passenger wagon out of ear shot from the soldier. When asked where Maya wants to go, we see the fallout from the raid on Bin Laden once and for all. What was it all for? And in the end, did we really manage to gain something of ourselves back when we finally eliminated Osama Bin Laden? Or did Osama really win when he brought down the towers, destroying our very identities? “Zero Dark Thirty” is a very thoughtful and objective look at the events that led to the death of Osama Bin Laden. And for folks convinced Bigelow would stage a rah rah America film are wrong in their assertions.

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The Terminator (1984)

When James Cameron came aboard the “Alien” series, he essentially took what was a dark science fiction horror film and transformed its sequel in to a action packed monster movie. When it came to Cameron’s love child “The Terminator,” Cameron seemed to work in reverse starting his series off as a tale about a robotic monster from the future, and then transformed his premise in to a darker science fiction parable about the imminent apocalypse and the sheer labyrinth that is time travel.

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Cemetery High (1989)

cem-highBasically, Gorman Bechard’s “Cemetery High” is a comedy spoof of every rape revenge movie you’ve ever seen. Except when it tries to be funny, it fails painfully. When it tries for exploitation revenge, it manages to be a pretty absurd and interesting bit of revenge horror. I wonder why someone thought mocking this material would make for an entertaining movie. Granted, the tale of women striking down rapists isn’t exactly a dramatic bit of cinematic fare, especially in the late eighties, but mocking the material so incessantly feels so shoe horned, the comedy is awkward rather than unfunny.

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Love Stinks: Eight Demented Movie Romances

I can’t stomach too many romance movies these days, and I’ve always hated how romance is slipped into almost anything to garner some form of padding for the plot. Sometimes the love between two people is sweet, and many times it’s worthy of a groan and an eye roll. So, I thought of my favorite romances, and as expected, the list is slim, but hot damn, these movies are still great.

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Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

“Emancipate this!”

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. And of course, flesh eating Confederate zombies. Those things are always a bugger on countries and whatnot. Those dang confederate zombies. After a prologue showing young Mr. Lincoln beheading his undead father with an axe, he soon discovers years in to his presidency that Confederate soldiers are rising from their graves and are spreading along the country to wreak havoc on the living. Abraham Lincoln takes it upon himself to lead the charge and stop the siege of the undead with a secret mission, and soon must fight for his life against hordes of the walking dead, alongside his brethren of pistol shooting suited men. “Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies” is basically “Night of the Living Dead” but with a very twisted historical context. Instead of a farm house there’s a military fort, and instead of a group of survivors, there’s Abe Lincoln, a young Teddy Roosevelt, and a bunch of other characters that double for cannon fodder for the zombies.

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