A couple of months before I was able to grab a hold of a copy of “Were-rabbit”, I was able to catch on television the three shorts of the adventures of “Wallace and Gromit”. They’re three claymation shorts that earned a massive cult following. Usually, it’s very hip to say that anything nominated for an Oscar isn’t that good, but “Wallace and Gromit” is one of those Oscar properties that really did get the praise it deserved. Trust when I say this, Wallace and Gromit is far from overrated.
Tag Archives: C
Cry_Wolf (2005)
The crime “Cry_Wolf” commits is that its safe, it’s completely void of scares, any risks, and it’s completely dry if you catch my drift. It attempts to be taken as a slasher film but it’s not a slasher whatsoever, it’s a gigantic tease. It starts off as a mystery, then forms in to a slasher, and then a mystery yet again. With great writing, and very good directing, the constantly shifting themes could have served for a brilliant and utterly engrossing horror entry, but with hackneyed writing and utterly broad characterization, “Cry_Wolf” goes limp. Like having a vasectomy and contemplating sex, it seems fun, but in the end it does nothing but fire off blanks. It wants to be the murder mystery of the computer age, but it comes off more like a lame-brained “Scream” and that’s not saying much, I can tell you that.
The Company (2003)
I’ll admit, I approached “The Company” with a closed mind, I mean how interesting could it be to be a professional ballet dancer after all? When I was finished with this, I thought to myself “Boy, was I wrong!”. I mean, I’m a guy, I’ve never seen a ballet, I’ve never met a true ballet dancer, and ballet doesn’t appeal to me, so with Robert Altman’s newest docu-drama, I was hesitant and immensely scared that I was in for a two hour snooze fest, but I was proven wrong. If anything “The Company” shows how surprisingly physically demanding being a ballet dancer can be. Though it’s a pre-requisite with those who enter in to this world, it’s ballsy for the makers here to give the movie going audience a glance in to the world of ballet dancing.
Cold Mountain (2003)
“Cold Mountain” wants to be grand. Oh how Minghella wants it to be a grandiose civil war epic, this generation’s “Gone with the Wind”, but sadly, it will never reach those heights, and throughout the running time it never reached those heights because it is such a short-sighted piece of filmmaking, it could never reach the possible limits that Minghella wanted it to. After viewing this, it was plainly obvious this was so utterly manufactured for Oscar, it was nauseating. But “Cold Mountain” is not underwhelming because of that fact, it’s underwhelming simply because it’s so utterly short-sighted in its stories and characters.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Believe it or not, I was hopeful for the remake of “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. While I was never a fan of Tim Burton (I’ve always considered him over rated), I was hoping Burton’s take on the story would be entertaining and very amusing, but alas, Burton botches yet another remake. For those whom may not remember, Burton completely botched the remake of “Planet of the Apes” which went from a thought provoking allegory about society to a dumbed down teen science fiction film. Now, granted, I did give it a good review, it was based mostly on the cast and make up.
Either way, don’t believe the excuses of the hardcore Burton fan boys, this is a remake in every sense of the word, but Burton goes in the hall of fame of directors whom just couldn’t top the original masterpiece.
The Clearing (2004)
As much as I didn’t want it to be what with the excellent cast of great actors, “The Clearing” is a surprisingly routine hostage flick with all the usual foibles and aspects you’d expect from a film such as this. Plus, it comes off in the end as utterly incomplete and half-assed. I love Robert Redford, and I think he’s still an immensely talented man, but this is just an overall lame-brained attempt at something more existential. The film goes on and on without even much of a full concept. We have Helen Mirren’s character who is desperate for her husband but begins exploring his shady past and their life together, but that’s never really explored with as much depth as it could have been, we meet the children, one is an eager son, the other is a beautiful daughter, but they’re never truly explored, then we have the bonding of this family whom were disconnected in life but connect during this tragedy, and sadly, that is a concept not truly explored as I wanted it to be.
Cube Zero (2004)
Just so we know where we stand, I disliked Cube, and hated Cube 2: Hypercube, both films that made the basic horror/science fiction fan cream their pants. Though the concepts were original, the writers and creators did very little with it and thus we were given much repetition in both. One is about a bunch of people in a cube maze with death traps, Cube 2 was just basically a lot more of the same thing, and it seems to me the creators figured out that they needed to change it or else continue repeating the same old stuff, so they created this prequel/semi-sequel called “Cube Zero”.