Top 5 Baffling Aspects Of “TMNT: We Wish You a Turtle Christmas”

Posted on December 25, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

There are no weapons, there’s no fighting, no Shredder, no April, no Casey, and no foot clan. And those aren’t the worst crimes this monstrosity commits. This is the definition of a quick cash grab. I am quick to believe someone raided a storage closet from a party entertainers’ warehouse, and decided to release their own Christmas themed Ninja Turtles video. Even at eleven years old, I would have shut it off after the first few minutes. “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas” doesn’t even last longer than twenty five minutes in length, and still feels long as hell.

The plot to this anomaly is that the turtles are trying to find a present for Master Splinter. So they prepare for Christmas, and go looking for a perfect present. Cue the mind numbingly terrible cash grab that is “We Wish You a Turtle Christmas.” Here are five of the more head scratching aspects of the twenty minute “special.
Continue reading →

Neighbors (2014)

Posted on December 22, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

Director Nicholas Stoll’s comedy at least has entertainment value going for it. It may not be the most consistent or tonally even film of the year, but it’s kind of fun when you get down to it. That’s mainly thanks to Zac Efron and Dave Franco that save the movie from being another self indulgent Seth Rogen improv-athon. Rogen literally can’t play anyone but Rogen anymore, even when playing an alien from outer space, but the supporting cast for “Neighbors” really keeps the film from diving in to abysmal depths and keeps it a notch above mediocre. That also includes Rose Byrne, and the hilarious Carla Gallo.

Continue reading →

The Skeleton Twins (2014)

Posted on December 16, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

While Craig Johnson’s “The Skeleton Twins” had every chance to be a self indulgent vehicle for two SNL alumnis, “The Skeleton Twins” ends up being quite fantastic, and compliments the idea that Kristen Wiig is more than a comedian. Co-star Bill Hader also proves he can handle dramatic material with the best of them. Hader’s turn as a self loathing homosexual who is one part of self destructive twins is something of a revelation, and his turn here is Oscar worthy. Maggie is on the verge of committing suicide when she gets a call from a hospital alerting her that her long lost twin brother Milo attempted suicide.

Continue reading →

Wish I Was Here (2014)

Posted on December 15, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

When it isn’t trying to be profound or reaching for metaphor and goofy Spike Jonze style photography, “Wish I Was Here” ends up being a pretty interesting family melodrama. It’s not by any means Braff’s masterpiece. I think we’re a long way from ever seeing one. Here he repeats the same beats of his former indie drama “Garden State,” ad nauseum. He’s either intent on reminding people why the aforementioned was so good, or he’s bereft of offering anything new. There’s Jim Parsons, a fractured relationship with a father figure, the ghost of a dead mother, Braff’s character is an actor, and there be plenty ‘o montages set to indie rock music.

Continue reading →

100 Things to Do Before High School

Posted on November 17, 2014 by Felix Vasquez

You really have to give it to Nickelodeon. They’re in no position to mock Disney, since their programs are superior and garner bigger ratings, but they waste no time in ridiculing the company. The TV movie for “100 Things to Do Before High School” which is supposed to open the door for a series next year, spoofs “High School Musical,” and most of the movie rips on “Star Wars” big time. That said, while it’s derivative, “100 Things to Do Before High School” is a fun tween dramedy that might be the teen oriented hit Nick has been looking for, for a while now. I got shades of “Ned’s DeClassified School Survival Guide,” but I really enjoyed the TV movie for “100 Things to Do Before High School.”

Continue reading →