Our Top 10 Worst Films of 2013

If you’re wondering where “Grown Ups 2” (aka Adam Sandler’s Vacation Part three) or “The Smurfs 2” are, we gladly avoided those movies upon their release. Partially because we avoided the first films, but mostly because we just didn’t feel like suffering or inflicting pain upon ourselves. We’re masochists, surely, but not religious about it.

And we weren’t interested in watching the ninety minute commercial for Google entitled “The Internship.” That said, we did watch our share of awful films in 2013. Some by choice, others by obligation, and this is the top ten that we couldn’t stop groaning over.

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The Ref (1994)

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It’s only fitting that a comedian so devoted to working against the norm would star in a Christmas film that’s very much against the idea of the holiday. “The Ref” is very much a hilarious and laugh a minute dramedy about familial dysfunction and the idea of Christmas being much more of an obligation than a time to celebrate the loved ones and family.

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Will Vinton’s A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987)

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I have very fond memories of watching Will Vinton’s “Claymation Christmas” on CBS back when it premiered in the late eighties. At the time Vinton’s “California Raisins” mascots were still prominent in America, and I fondly recall my cousins owning some of the toys from the brand. Though the characters themselves were lukewarm mascots, I still loved Vinton’s “Claymation Christmas.”

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A Christmas Story (1983)

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Though many consider “A Christmas Story” an ode to good old fashioned consumerism, director Bob Clark’s family film is much more about down to Earth themes. Who among us hasn’t wanted that great toy for Christmas that was out of our grasps? Every single person on Earth can empathize with the tale of Ralphie, a bespectacled young boy who wants the ultimate Christmas present. What makes “A Christmas Story” such a universal holiday film is that Ralphie is not a kid that expects his gift. He does everything it takes to earn his Red Ryder BB Gun, short of stealing it.

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Frosty the Snowman (1969)

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You wouldn’t expect much from a short movie about the famous Christmas novelty song, but lo and behold Rankin Bass manage to pull off an impressive feat. “Frosty the Snowman” is a great short fantasy film that knows when to call it quits and is never a cloying over abundance of cute and obnoxious.

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A Garfield Christmas (1987)

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Yet another of the Christmas favorites that faded away from television land, “ A Garfield Christmas” is a wonderful and often times hilarious look at Garfield’s ringing in the Christmas festivities with Jon and Odie. Garfield is taken out of his beloved home and to Jon Arbuckle’s old home to celebrate Christmas with his country bumpkin family.While there, we not only garner an insight in to Jon’s odd ball personality, but we also get to see how Garfield reacts to the relationships around him.

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And Now… The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)

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A long time ago in a galaxy Far, Far Away, Bea Arthur ran a cantina with her alien pals.

And bandit Han Solo found it in his heart to interrupt his daring exploits to take Chewbacca home to be with his family for Christmas–er–Life Day. Though Chewbacca was explained as being a loner whose only friend was Han in the first film, he found time to bonk Mrs. Chewie and birth some chewbacca babies. So every now and then, I imagine Han has to stay over at his pal’s house, listening as Chewie and his wife argue with one another about taking out the trash, while Han tries to unfold the cot for his awkward sleep over.

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