I give “Johnny Suede” credit for being original, and unusual and surreal. Hell, if David Lynch made a musical comedy, I think this film would be it. But what’s the ultimate caveats that drag the film down into pure horrid depths? Tedium and acting. This story of a perpetually naïve young man who can’t quite understand how delusional he is in his pipe dream of becoming a huge star would have been better served had we been given a better leading man, but alas Pitt once again convinces me that he’s just not a good actor. Granted, it’s an early role, but Pitt could never convince me he’s a solid performer aside from his brief stint in “Snatch.”
Donnie Darko: First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have… reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It’s just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?
It’s sad that the days when a spoof showed potential of pure brilliance or cult standing are long gone and now usher in nothing but incredibly awful or mediocre movies that assume spoofing is done best when satirizing the scenes and not the ideas. “Epic Movie” is the next step in the evolution of this sub-genre where you can see the writers getting collectively lazier with each title as the years pass.