The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (2004)

lost-skeletonRanger Brad: We take our horrible mutilations seriously around these parts.

What “Cadavra” has above the rest of the lot for spoofing old B movies, is it just screams for the dudes at “Mystery Science Theater” to spoof it. “Cadavra” is essentially a B movie spoofing B movies from the fifties and many times it really manages to pull off the gags. The director has obviously done his research to a great extent with much of the flaws, plot holes, and immense lack of continuity provided with schlock sci-fi films even going down to the horrible props including cheesy alien costumes, a spaceship that looks like cardboard, and often times the props re-appear in another scene ala Ed Wood; and there are many scenes that just mimic those of the fifties including animal stock footage used for the actual film, which was a common practice then.

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I ♥ Huckabees (2004)

ihearthuckabees5Very crafty of the little gray rabbit, or something to that effect. With films these days you have only black and white, heads or tails, films that are just dumb, and films that are thought provoking, hardly ever in a blue moon are we given a film that looks like entertainment but is really thought provoking brain candy. But David O. Russell is the crafty madman behind “I ♥ Huckabees”, a film that examines existentialism through a company conglomerate of department stores that are just a microcosm for life and the big picture. We never really see many Huckabees stores here, but that’s because the Huckabees presence is only that, a presence which serves as a link to connect all the characters here in this story. It’s the Nucleus for the story that serves as a source to connect the characters in an uneasy situation whether they like it or not.

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The Man with the Screaming Brain (2005)

Bruce Campbell attempts yet again to make another movie with his deal of difficulties, and finally had it released. Granted it was released on the “Sci-Fi” Channel, but it still ends up being a pretty entertaining throwback to the fifties with a mix of schlock for much effect to what the topic of the film entails, because–seriously–comedy or drama, would you watch this film with a straight face? This is science fiction comedy, or comedy with a science fiction twist? Because the screenplay never seems to know.

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Shark Tale (2004)

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I’m as to Will Smith’s real appeal these days. Every role he’s in, he basically plays himself, and in “Shark Tale”, Will Smith plays Will Smith… as a fish; How incredibly original. Oscar, his character is very superficial. He has no real redeeming qualities, is more based on his personality than actually making him a three-dimensional character with traits, and never really convinces me that I should like him, and I ended up liking Lenny (Jack Black) much more. Every other character is just there to pop jokes in now and again.

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Pilots Reviews: CBS' "How I Met Your Mother," UPN's "Everybody Hates Chris"

So what the hell do both of these shows have to do with each other? Well, simply put: they flash back to a time that would lead to something big eventually, and both could either deliver to the audience what we want, or can drag on and on and on until the gimmicks are so tired, we beg for it to be cancelled. But surprisingly, one gimmick works better than the other. Sometimes flashback shows work (“Wonder Years”, My Beloved “American Dreams”), and sometimes they don’t (“Do Over”, “That Was Then”), and both shows rely on this gimmick to spawn an entire series. With “How I Met Your Mother”, we see an old man telling his two children how he met their mom, and it’s safe to say this show has a big gimmick that will only tell how long this show will last. I mean how long will these kids sit to listen to this story? More importantly how long will the audience?

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Cursed (2005)

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This is “Scream” werewolf style, with red herrings, a hip cast, endless pop culture references, jump scares and a leading lady who can actually act being forced in to a situation. She even has a spazoid sidekick. Plus there’s that “Scream” style ending with everyone running back and forth and the “Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s her, but no it’s this person!” gimmick. But more characteristically, “Cursed” is a jumbled mess filled with moments that will surely have you repeatedly declaring “That would have been a great sequence”, and I was doing the same thing. Werewolves in the mirror room? Would have been great. Changing in to a werewolf in a public bathroom? Would have been great. Silencing barking neighborhood dogs with a howl? Could have been great. But alas, none of it really is.

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Day of the Dead 2: Contagium (2005)

It’s hard to take a film like this seriously; as a matter of fact calling this a film is very funny in its assumption, but regardless, taking this seriously is a real stretch and requires somewhat of a straight face. My suggestion is to completely shut off any expectations, logic, and common sense and try to make it through the ninety minute crap fest, now there’s an endurance challenge. Be warned though, this is not a sequel in spite of its title; it seeks only to shamelessly market off of the name of Romero’s masterpiece, and it bears no connection other than the title alludes to. While Romero’s film was a brilliant dissection of military corruption and paranoia, this crap fest is just an endurance test of sheer taste and torment.

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