This movie isn’t as deep as it wanted to be, if it even wanted to be deep at all; it’s actually just pseudo-spiritual nonsense when you get right down to it. Angelina Jolie picks one of the rotten scripts out of the entire flock with a story that is nothing but fluff and unbearable melodrama. What should have been a meditation on a woman seeking self-analysis becomes nothing more than a comedy that tries every time to tells odd jokes but fails miserably.
For a film with such a great cast like Natasha Richardson, Patrick Swayze, Charlize Theron, and Billy Bob Thornton, it’s hard to believe this is such a bad film. The great cast manages to make due with the horrible script and directing including Theron and Richardson who are great as best friends who discover one another and their personalities. What’s worse is this is not just a bad film but a bad comedy and what makes it a bad comedy is that the script and antics performed by the actors force no laughs from the audience and basically will leave the audience with a stone cold face.
Coming across as a pseudo “The Sting” except with much more comedy, five lowlife criminals discover the ultimate heist and decide to pull it off, but discover it’s not as glorious as it may be. This is hilarious. I have never laughed so hard in a modern comedy as I have with this; most of the antics reminded me of an “I Love Lucy” episode from the incident in the funhouse, to the water filled sewer, to when they have to cross the heated pipe and carnage ensues, this is hilarious. Director/writer team Anthony Russo and Joe Russo create fresh and original comedy out of a typical plot for a movie that could have easily fumbled into bad territory.
I remember checking out the trailer for this online and thought it was a funny idea. So, when it finally appeared on television, I had to check it out for a laugh. After a long-winded and pretentious opener in which a Mexican narrator informs the audience about the legend of a piñata which held the evil essence of villagers to restore prominence back to the village, we get into modern times where a bunch of college students prepare for a scavenger hunt. If you’re going to watch this, watch this for the horror clichés that embroil within this. There’s your usual cast of characters that serve no other purpose than to die in the hands of the evil piñata.
After a raid by armed soldiers during a party with the world’s top agents and their kids, Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara), the youngest of the Cortez spy family is accused of stealing the high powered super weapon The Transmooker Device. Now Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni Cortez must travel to the island of lost dreams and face off against monsters, soldiers, and rival agents Girti (Emily Osment) and Gary Giggles and find the real transmooker device before the evil Donnagon (Mike Judge) gets a hold of it and prove Juni’s innocence. But their parents and meddlesome grandparents are on the hunt for the kids before they’re killed. I tend to easily grow tired of family movies if they’re either too hokey or corny; most of the time, they’re both.
After the (literally) seven minute long opening to “House of the dead”, I was almost sure this would suck as I instantly lost patience with this frenzied film; man, I should learn to listen to my instincts more. I sat in the theatres watching and squirming in my seat because I had to use the bathroom, and had pre-determined I would hold it until the movie ended (not wanting to miss out). After about ten minutes in, to the bathroom I went. What’s sad is that this is not only a bad movie, but a bad zombie movie with a lot of potential to it. With a plot off of “Zombie” and “Resident Evil”, the movie had a lot of chances to become innovative and creative yet Uwe Boll takes no chances and goes by the book.
Based on the hit animated action cartoon from The Cartoon Network in America, Professor Utonium is the focus of this feature as we delve into his life and learn how he created the disc-eyed crime-fighting tots Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup. Along with their origin finally being told, we also learn how they accepted their superpowers and learned how to use them for good. Alongside the Girls, an evil is looming in the darkness, an evil mastermind genius chimp named Mojo Jojo, who uses the girls’ naiveté for his evil master plan.