Zombie Honeymoon (2004)

Posted on May 16, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

A few months ago, I saw a film called “Boy Eats Girl”, about a young man who dies and comes back as a zombie. The people who love him are willing to ignore his ravenous potentially murderous behavior because they just are that committed to him. “Zombie Honeymoon” is basically along those same lines. Except, in spite of its evident camp it’s much more in the vein of a tragedy, and it works. Can you love someone who is uncontrollably murderous? Can you love someone beyond circumstances that are not in your control? Do you fight the tide, or welcome it with open arms? “Zombie Honeymoon” in spite of its ludicrous title is actually much more classy and straight-faced than its moniker would dictate to audiences; which would also attribute to the lack of interest from many I’ve come across.

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Masters of Horror: Imprint

Posted on May 15, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

What—you thought I wouldn’t review this episode? You fool. Showtime, or as I like to call it, HBO-lite created the “Masters of Horror” series more as a Halloween novelty and then in to a full on series. They then invited horror veterans to throw in their own tales in the proverbial cap and really garner ratings and acclaim. And then they took on Takashe Miike. And then they banned his creation. The equivalent of this being that I ask an artist to draw the most disturbing picture he can, and then when he does, I scream “Whoa! Too disturbing!” And then I tear it up. My question is: How can you give an arsonist a match and then not expect him to burn down a whole city? How can you let Takashe Miike direct something for you and then get angry when he actually directs?! Did anyone at Showtime even know who he was?

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Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)

Posted on May 5, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

All horror fans are familiar with the bumbling of Morgan Creek and their insistence on kicking out experienced director and screenwriter Paul Schrader in exchange for the hack Renny Harlin to direct the prequel to “The Exorcist”. We didn’t need a prequel, but if the studios felt that they could have drained one more film from this franchise, then they could have and should have done it right in the first place. After all the problems, “Dominion” was finally released, and while it will never win any awards, I enjoyed it more, not to mention I found it to be more consistent in quality. “Dominion” is basically the same deal. Father Merrin, disenchanted with the church, goes out on archaeological expeditions, finds an underground church, and faces against the demon. Except, Schrader’s film is much more coherent and cohesive.

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It Waits (2005)

Posted on April 29, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

If you can believe Cerina Vincent is a park ranger, then the writers have won half the battle. Vincent plays the busty park ranger Danielle ala Russ Meyer, who is a whiney emo alcoholic mourning the loss of her friend, and seems like a well enough heroine forced to fight off a monster. Sure, she’s about as far-fetched as a park ranger as Denise Richards was a rocket scientist, but in the end I was willing to ignore the lapses in logic, and power on through. Cerina Vincent is gorgeous in a film that allows her to flaunt her curves while also playing the strong heroine battling a ferocious enigmatic beast from beyond. The concept for “It Waits” is simple. Busty park ranger fights monster in forest with her pet parrot. That’s the best way I can describe “It Waits” in one sentence.

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Audition (Ôdishon) (1999)

Posted on April 26, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

I don’t know what to say about “Audition”. For a film that’s rapidly become a standard viewing for the horror genre, I’m just dumbfounded. Why hasn’t the mainstream noticed Takashe Miike yet? I mean fully noticed. This man is a genius. He’s not just some director giving us gore, gore for no damn reason (*cough*EliRoth*cough*) but a man who provides the gore as a way of expressing his story. “Audition” is one of those films. It’s a reflection of Miike’s sick mind, a man who twists his audience in so much directions, that you leave feeling violated and stunned. With “Audition” I was offended, I was shocked, and I was stunned.

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Slither (2006)

Posted on April 14, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

I admit I wasn’t expecting much from “Slither”, basically because it looked so utterly cheesy, and in spite of Nathan Fillion’s presence, I just couldn’t find anything that could sell me on it. Surprisingly, I was wrong about it. A basic remake of “Night of the Creeps”, James Gunn’s “Slither” strives to be its own entity, and in many respects he succeeds in attempting such an endeavor. “Slither”, a throwback to fifties B movies with aliens, monsters, and zombies is stupid, and Gunn embraces the stupidity with scenes that are often ridiculous, but I was never bored. “Slither” in its stupidity is also pretty funny, and with the great cast it sports, I accepted the ridiculousness. And even from a Troma alumni like Gunn, I expected stupidity. It’s your usual B movie fodder.

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Pulse (Kairo) (2001)

Posted on April 10, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

Yes, it’s happening. Very soon, the US will release its own version of “Pulse” and I have surprisingly high hopes. It looks like a very scary movie, so I decided to watch the original film, since originals are always better, and I finally did. “Kairo” is without a doubt one of the most bleak horror films I’ve seen in years, it’s a film that never really casts an optimistic brow, and it’s a horror film that reaches down to the core of human emotions and brings out the horrific implications of what we can do to ourselves that can spell the end of the world as we know it.

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