Our 10 Worst Movies of 2015

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With the good comes the bad, and 2015 had its fair share of awful films that left audiences and critics running for the doors. There were some films we outright refused to see this year, so you won’t see “The Human Centipede 3” on this list, nor will you be seeing “Joe Dirt 2,” either. We just will not go out of our way to watch a David Spade vehicle. We also didn’t bother with “The Cobbler.” There’s only so much Happy Madison junk we can stomach.

Bad Movies in 2015 that almost made the list includes the pure havoc Happy Madison wrought with the terrible Pixels, the brutally unfunny Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, and the absolutely unwatchable The Ridiculous 6. We almost included Johnny Depp’s terrible Mortdecai, the piss poor lazy prequel Pan, and also considered the Adam Green self love fest Digging Up the Marrow. We also considered adding the lame and dull We Are Your Friends, and seem to be one of the only five people on Earth who hated Bone Tomahawk. There were just more deserving candidates. On to the Worst of 2015…

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How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

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It’s hard to imagine a more perfect adaptation of a Dr. Seuss story than the 1966 Chuck Jones feature; perhaps, “The Butter Battle Book.” In either case, I was one of the many children that grew up watching the TV version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” It’s such a wonderful combination of talents and rich enthusiasm for the source material, that it’s tough to not like it. There’s Boris Karloff, Chuck Jones, and Dr. Seuss, not to mention the perfectly simplistic tale about anti-materialism and the true meaning of Christmas.

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The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) [Blu-Ray]

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If there is one big flaw that keeps “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” from being either really bad or really good, is that it’s never quite sure what to make of itself. The tonal imbalance and wildly inconsistent mood keeps the movie bipolar and surreal. It’s too gross for kids, and too tame for adults, so it’s right in the middle of nowhere. “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” is based on the wildly popular series of stickers that were direct spoofs of the popular eighties franchise The Cabbage Patch Kids. The series of stickers presented buyers with their own disgusting, offensive, and grotesque versions of Cabbage Patch characters, and for many years they were a staple for folks that appreciated humor with a bad taste.

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We Are Your Friends (2015) (DVD)

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I really like Zac Efron. I have nothing particularly against him. He’s a nice looking guy with some chops to him when pushed hard enough by a competent director. When he’s really just asked to flash his looks around and literally do nothing, we get “We Are Your Friends,” one of the stupidest, most forgettable movies of 2015. I’m glad I’m not the only person who felt this way about the film, as it was one of the bigger flops of the year. “We Are Your Friends” has no substance to it, and pretends to be about something, when it really isn’t. Deep down it’s a remake of “Saturday Night Fever” and fails to capture any of the substance and complexity that John Badham’s masterpiece obtained.

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The Original Christmas Classics: Anniversary Collector’s Edition [Blu-ray]

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For most fans of Christmas and the holiday season, every year comes with two regular guests: Charlie Brown and Rankin Bass. For folks that love the Rankin Bass stop motion and animation features that feature a wide universe filled with characters like Frosty and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Classic Media unleashes a wonderful box set of some of their best and most aired animated classics that celebrate the spirit of Christmas and the holidays. There are seven specials total, all of which have been celebrated since their release, and they’re given another release on Blu-Ray for the sake of posterity.

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Strange Magic (2015)

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Lucasfilm Ltd. and Disney’s “Strange Magic” is another of the many releases in 2015 I was hoping to love going in, but just couldn’t. “Strange Magic” defeats itself before we even reach the second half of its achingly simple storyline, not because of its simplicity and abundantly detailed animation, but because of its constant musical numbers. It’s not enough the characters sing every five minutes, but the musical numbers eventually blur in to one another resembling more droning white noise than characters expressing their feelings. It inevitably begins to feel like the writers are just trying to stretch an hour long narrative in to a hundred minute film.

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Jem and the Holograms (2015)

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It’s hard to imagine a movie this year more sadistically boring and bland than “Jem and the Holograms.” This comes as somewhat of a surprise since director John M. Chu is a pro when it comes to making films that are visually dazzling and marketed toward teens. “Step Up 3” was a fun, beautifully edited, visual feast, while “GI Joe: Retaliation” was a decent follow up to a much maligned movie. So it’s disappointing and crushing to see Chu not even really seem to try. Everything about “Jem and the Holograms” is so vanilla and uninspiring that I never even care about anything happening on screen. I’m not one of the kids from the eighties that watched “Jem,” so I have no nostalgic connection to the animated series, but I can understand that anger toward such a horrible movie.

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