Nicole Kidman’s career has become a constant bipolar example of choices in film that really should be examined. Kidman can pull in a rousing performance in one film, and then oddly appear in a really bad film the next. She can go from brutally sexy Ingrid Bergman, to numb skulled Lindsay Lohan in mere minutes. And that’s why she’s become a gamble in Hollywood. And Will Ferrell is no saint, either. I’ve never seen two people so devoted to doing damage to their careers before. Are they talented? Sure, but stupid choices deteriorate a great career. Would it have been so bad to remake “Bewitched” directly? I ask you. I mean, a remake at all was incredibly questionable and unnecessary, but that’s just moot. No, a direct remake would be too obvious. Let’s do a satire on Hollywood. No one has ever done that before! Right…?
Tag Archives: Remake
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
Do you know how your little brother or cousin would always pop out from a corner with a mask and yell “boo!” and then you’d be scared. And then amused, he’d continue doing so. Again, and again, and again, until you started to get angry. But he continued doing it until you tore the mask off and kicked him in the nuts? Well, that’s what my experience was like with Simon West’s remake of “When a Stranger Calls”. Now, I haven’t seen the original film just yet, but I imagine it won’t make me want to kick the director in the nuts. Imagine this: I took a camera and filmed myself around the house. You would see me drinking water, taking a dump, cleaning my ears, walking around the hallway… I know you’re saying “That’s stupid, I’d never see that”. Well, then you may want to stay away from this.
Alfie (2004)
I wasn’t a big fan of the original 1966 film starring the great Michael Caine. About a year prior to the release of the remake, I decided to give “Alfie” a watch, and really wasn’t impressed. For all whom aren’t familiar with the original, “Alfie” takes place in London, and not in New York, and it’s much darker and colder than the remake. Though, as always, movie fans will be divided with both versions, I just had to pick the remake. Granted, neither of them are masterpieces, nor are the rip-offs, but the modern “Alfie” is much more enjoyable in the long run.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
When news broke out Craven was producing a remake (yes, another fucking remake) to his classic “The Hills Have Eyes” I groaned. I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of the original film that’s still branded a classic. I saw it twice and it just didn’t resonate with me. The cannibals looked like cavemen/WWE wrestlers, the acting was horrible, the plot dragged, and I just wasn’t satisfied. While I can and do appreciate its importance in horror (hence the collective groan after the remake news) I just didn’t care for it. I was weary of this remake since about 95 percent of modern horror remakes are terrible (i.e. House of Wax, TCM), but two words instantly turned me in to someone really anxious to watch this. Alexandre Aja.
Comparing “Shall We Dansu" and "Shall We Dance?": The Superior and the Inferior
I admit I’ve never seen either films, but I watched both one after the other leaving bias’ aside and judged them as separate entities while comparing them to see which one was better. Contradictory, sure, but shut up. Either way, both films are different in terms of their content. While “Shall we Dansu?” is a risqué film in Japan seeing as how human affection isn’t as casual or normal as anywhere else it, “Shall we Dance?” Is normal to the point of being bland. In the country where we watch people having sex on-screen, watching two people dance is nothing worth scoffing at. But in many films in Japan, characters fall in love without ever really kissing, so “Shall we Dansu?” ended up becoming the more original, and layered film.
King Kong (2005)
Peter Jackson takes “King Kong” a timeless classic from 1933 and remakes it bigger, larger, and louder. And he’s very faithful to the original story (98 percent). Jackson goes back to the roots of the story, and what made it so damn good, and brings it to modern audiences. Though nothing can ever top the original film, and all of its novelty, Jackson’s remake is pretty damn good. What always intrigued me about the Kong story, is that Ann Darrow, whether she knew it or not, was the beginning of the end of King Kong. In the climax, as he falls from the Empire State Building, you have to wonder that perhaps he was better off being alone. As with all noir the female is always the end for the male.
Dark Water (2005): Unrated
I must say I don’t know what I was expecting from “Dark Water” ultimately. I know it wasn’t supposed to be horror, I know it’s technically not horror at all, but it was marketed as such, and thankfully not a lot of audiences fell for it. I know it’s a remake I’ve yet to see as well. Now, with “Dark Water” I was surprised that I liked it. I didn’t love it, and it’s far from perfect, but there were certain, or many aspects within its story and characterization that just clicked with me. It’s a pretty heartbreaking supernatural drama that really examines not only the bond between a mother and a daughter, but how easily children can fall through the cracks in adults own self-centered pursuits and problems.